Faith's Journey

We're moving! (And so is this blog!)

2009-11-05T20:46:00.000-08:00

I am condensing my multiple blogs in to one...read it here: http://wearefollowinghimhome.blogspot.com/

I will no longer be posting on this blog :)

It's back to school time...

2009-08-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

and that means I haven't have time to work on the Paul study!

Some thoughts for you though.

God would love to hear from you. Talk to Him everyday, throughout the day. Prayer isn't always about getting on your knees and going through a long list of supplications. Tell Him when you are thankful, even for the little things. Praise Him for the good in your life. Tell Him when you are upset or frustrated. Ask Him to help you when you need it. It will make your day go smoother, and strengthen your relationship with Him.

And remember Christ died for you. He wants a relationship with you.

Paul's Journey (Acts 15:6-29)

2009-08-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

Now I am going back to the Jerusalem Council in Acts 15.

Acts 15:6 Now the apostles and elders came together to consider this matter.

Initially the elders and apostles gathered together in private to discuss the matters at hand. When putting together Galatians and Acts, you see clearly that there was a great deal of argument over the matter of circumcision and keeping the law. The Council has come together to give an answer to these arguments.

7 And when there had been much dispute, Peter rose up and said to them: “Men and brethren, you know that a good while ago God chose among us, that by my mouth the Gentiles should hear the word of the gospel and believe.

Peter is referring to the salvation of Cornelius here (see Acts 10) and how he himself had preached to Gentiles.

8 So God, who knows the heart, acknowledged them by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as He did to us, 9 and made no distinction between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith. God knows the condition of our hearts, and there is no difference between Jew and Gentile when it comes to being saved by faith. 10 Now therefore, why do you test God by putting a yoke on the neck of the disciples which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear?

The yoke here is the Law. No man could possibly keep the law perfectly to earn salvation, so Peter asks why they are testing God by placing that yoke on the Gentiles as well?

11 But we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved in the same manner as they.” 12 Then all the multitude kept silent and listened to Barnabas and Paul declaring how many miracles and wonders God had worked through them among the Gentiles. 13 And after they had become silent, James answered, saying, “Men and brethren, listen to me: 14 Simon has declared how God at the first visited the Gentiles to take out of them a people for His name.

After Paul and Barnabas tell of the miracles done by God among the Gentiles, James declares the decision to the assembly. Simon is Peter. James then quotes the old testament. (See Amos 9:11,12)

15 And with this the words of the prophets agree, just as it is written:
16 ‘ After this I will return
And will rebuild the tabernacle of David, which has fallen down;
I will rebuild its ruins,
And I will set it up;
17 So that the rest of mankind may seek the LORD,
Even all the Gentiles who are called by My name,
Says the LORD who does all these things.’

18 “Known to God from eternity are all His works. 19 Therefore I judge that we should not trouble those from among the Gentiles who are turning to God, 20 but that we write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from things strangled, and from blood. 21 For Moses has had throughout many generations those who preach him in every city, being read in the synagogues every Sabbath.”

22 Then it pleased the apostles and elders, with the whole church, to send chosen men of their own company to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas, namely, Judas who was also named Barnabas, and Silas, leading men among the brethren. 23 They wrote this, letter by them:

The apostles, the elders, and the brethren,
To the brethren who are of the Gentiles in Antioch, Syria, and Cilicia:
Greetings.

24 Since we have heard that some who went out from us have troubled you with words, unsettling your souls, saying, “You must be circumcised and keep the law”—to whom we gave no such commandment— 25 it seemed good to us, being assembled with one accord, to send chosen men to you with our beloved Barnabas and Paul, 26 men who have risked their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 27 We have therefore sent Judas and Silas, who will also report the same things by word of mouth. 28 For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things: 29 that you abstain from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well.

Farewell.

James sends out a letter declaring that the Gentiles do not have to be circumcised in order to have salvation. He admonishes them to stay away from sexual immorality, and sacrificial meat, because these things were forms of pagan worship.

Paul's Journey (Galatians 2:1-5)

2009-07-21T05:41:00.000-07:00

As I am studying through Galatians, I've come to think the epistle was written AFTER the Jerusalem Council, rather than before. (This is why it's important to do your own studies, rather than relying solely on one commentary source) I believe Galatians 2:1-10 refers directly to that meeting. Remember, this Council was called to determine whether or not Gentiles had to follow Jewish law, including circumsicion, in order to recieve salvation.

Galatians 2:1 Then after fourteen years I went up again to Jerusalem with Barnabas, and also took Titus with me. 2 And I went up by revelation, and communicated to them that gospel which I preach among the Gentiles, but privately to those who were of reputation, lest by any means I might run, or had run, in vain.

Paul, Barnabas and Titus headed to Jerusalem. They took this trip, not because they were called to the meeting, but rather because God revealed to them that they should go. Their presence at the Council would prove to be essential to preserving the gospel of salvation by faith alone. Once he got there, he met with the leaders of the church in private. This was to tell them of the gospel he preached to the Gentiles, and to make sure they presented the facts as a united front to the believers. In verse 2, Paul uses an athletic reference as he does often in his epistles. Here he means that he wants to make sure that his trip was not in vain.

3 Yet not even Titus who was with me, being a Greek, was compelled to be circumcised.

Titus was a converted Gentile who was uncircumcised. Here Paul is stating that he came to the meeting, and in the end was not made to submit to circumcision.

4 And this occurred because of false brethren secretly brought in (who came in by stealth to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage), 5 to whom we did not yield submission even for an hour, that the truth of the gospel might continue with you.

Here, Paul is explaining why the Council occured. It was because of false teachers, Judaizers, that were coming around to the churches preaching that Gentiles must follow the Law of Moses and be circumcised, or they would not be saved. At this Council, Paul simply preached the true gospel...which grants freedom from the Mosaic Law.

Legalism continues to be a problem in churches today. Salvation is through faith in Jesus Christ alone. No amount of good works or rule keeping will grant salvation. The Law is only a mirror, to show us where we sin and our need for a savior. True salvation, however, will instill a desire to try to keep the commandments...to try to be holy for God. It will result in a turning away from sin, a weeding out of sin in our lives.

Puppies and Peaches...oh my...

2009-07-21T05:38:00.000-07:00

It seems like my life the past week has been dominated by our new puppy and putting up the 3 bushels of peaches that my inlaws were so gracious to pick for us. So.....I haven't posted a study this past week!

God's majesty

2009-07-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

Job 37:2-4 (New International Version)

2 Listen! Listen to the roar of his voice,
to the rumbling that comes from his mouth.

3 He unleashes his lightning beneath the whole heaven
and sends it to the ends of the earth.

4 After that comes the sound of his roar;
he thunders with his majestic voice.
When his voice resounds,
he holds nothing back.

2009-07-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

Paul's Journey (Galatians 1:11-24)

2009-07-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

Continuing on the introduction of the letter to Galatians....

Galatians 1:11 But I make known to you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man. 12 For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but it came through the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Paul, having faced great criticism from the Judiazers who questioned his apostleship and accuse him of trying to please men rather than God, is refuting the claims that he is making up his own gospel. He spends the next several verses explaining WHY he is an apostle set apart by God, not of his own making, or teaching by the other apostles.

Galatians 1:13 For you have heard of my former conduct in Judaism, how I persecuted the church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it. 14 And I advanced in Judaism beyond many of my contemporaries in my own nation, being more exceedingly zealous for the traditions of my fathers. 15 But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother’s womb and called me through His grace,

Here he is reminding them of what a zealous Jew he was, and how he persecuted the very Jesus he was now proclaiming. His reputation as a Pharisee would have been well known, and it wouldn't have made sense for him to suddenly have that change of heart just to please men.

Also, throughout this epistle, he gives God ALL the credit for his conversion and the message of the gospel. He isn't doing any of this for his own glory.

Galatians 1:16 to reveal His Son in me, that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately confer with flesh and blood, 17 nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went to Arabia, and returned again to Damascus.

He did not get his knowledge from men. He refers here to the three years he spent in Arabia, drawing closer to God, and receiving instruction from him.

Contacts at Jerusalem 18 Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to see Peter and remained with him fifteen days. 19 But I saw none of the other apostles except James, the Lord’s brother.

Although he did go see Peter and James in Jerusalem, he only spent 15 days there. (Not nearly enough time to teach Paul all these things) Also, the Greek verb historeo used for to see or visit, has the meaning of becoming acquainted with someone, or getting to know them better.

20 (Now concerning the things which I write to you, indeed, before God, I do not lie.)

This is a common Jewish vow, reinforcing the fact that Paul is telling the truth.

21 Afterward I went into the regions of Syria and Cilicia. 22 And I was unknown by face to the churches of Judea which were in Christ. 23 But they were hearing only, “He who formerly persecuted us now preaches the faith which he once tried to destroy.” 24 And they glorified God in me.

Because of the persecution he faced in Jerusalem (Acts 9:29-30) he had gone to the remote areas of Syria and Cilicia, which meant he was no where near any apostles to receive any teaching.

All of this was to confirm his apostleship and credibility. The leadership of the 12 apostles (Peter and James) confirm this in how they relate to Paul. Peter even refers to Paul's writings as scripture in his own time (2 Peter 3:15-16)

Paul's Journey is getting a new schedule

2009-07-09T09:59:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to have to space out my Paul posts a bit, or I'm going to get burned out on them! So I'm going to aim for a couple of times a week.

For the kiddos...here's a link to some neat activities and studies on Paul:

http://www.mssscrafts.com/newtestament/paul.htm

Journaling Inspired

2009-07-08T06:36:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd share my journaling with you. I've journaled off and on for most of my life. I have had long dry periods, and times that I write every day. Lately, I've been inspired by Ann Voskamp's journals...they are beautiful works of heart. Her passion for God pours off the paper and into the cyber world. Visit her blog, one of my favorite places to start my day: Holy Experience Make sure you read her posts about her journals.

Here's the cover for my current journal. It started out, several years ago as a different journal that I never kept up with. I changed the cover around a bit and started using it again.

Inside are a few pockets that I have placed snippets of songs and poetry that are inspiring...often torn from magazines.

I also paste magazine articles and photos right into my journal, and write around them.

My journal contains prayers, letters to God, my thoughts, struggles, hopes and dreams.

And it even contains completely frivolous things, like my garden wish list.

It's just a way to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper, so I can revisit them. My memory isn't all that great, and I love to be able to go back and read my life.

Paul's Journey (Galatians 1:1-10)

2009-07-08T05:56:00.000-07:00

As we saw in Paul and Barnabas's first missionary journey, they established churches in the southern part of Galatia, a Roman province in Asia Minor. The following is a map of the Galatian Province during the time of Paul.*

Galatians is an epistle, or letter, written by Paul to the churches in Galatia. Acts mentions four churches established by Paul and Barnabas there: Antioch of Pisidia, Iconium, Lystra and Derbe. The letter doesn't name any of these churches, but it's obvious that Paul is writing to churches that he had personally visited. The letter was written to address some doctrinal issues that had come up due to false teachers.

Galatians 1:1 Paul, an apostle (not from men nor through man, but through Jesus Christ and God the Father who raised Him from the dead), 2 and all the brethren who are with me,

To the churches of Galatia:

Paul opens this epistle by stating that he was appointed by Jesus, not men, as an apostle. An apostle means one who was sent with a message or commission. In verse two he is also stating that he is a fellow believer.

Unlike in his other epistles, Paul does not open this letter with a commendation or pleasant greeting for the Galatian churches. This letter is a rebuke and he is not pleased with them, hence the formal, brief introduction.

Verses 3-5 offer a brief synopsis of the gospel message.

Galatians 1:3 Grace to you and peace from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ, 4 who gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, 5 to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Christ's death and resurrection
His death is atonement for our sins
His death and resurrection is to deliver us from this doomed and sinful world (age)
This is the will of God, for His glory.

Galatians 1:6 I marvel that you are turning away so soon from Him who called you in the grace of Christ, to a different gospel, 7 which is not another; but there are some who trouble you and want to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed. 9 As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed. 10 For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bond servant of Christ.

Paul is astonished that the Christians of Galatia turned so quickly from the true gospel and were listening to false teachers. These men were teaching salvation by works and ritual. (which I will go into more depth on later in this book) True salvation comes only by faith in Jesus, and His atonement for our sins. Paul had taught that to them when he was there on his missionary trip. However, Jewish leaders were coming in behind him trying to blend Judaism and Christianity. They only succeeded in twisting the gospel.

Paul states that those who teach false doctrine are cursed by God. All people who teach the Word of God will be held accountable for what they teach, and those who teach lies, and lead people astray, will be judged by God.

Today there is an overwhelming abundance of false teachers. Many proclaim to be Christians, but when what they teach is examined against the Word in the Bible, one can see how they are leading millions down the wrong path. Name it and claim it is not Biblical. Salvation giving you health and prosperity is not Biblical. Biblical salvation grants eternal rewards, not earthly ones. In fact, Jesus clearly states that Christians will suffer for His name. If you are focusing on earthly comfort and pleasures as a basis for your faith, you have completely missed the boat and need to re-examine your relationship with God.

http://www.christinyou.net/pages/galmaps.html

Paul's Journey (Acts 14:21-15:5)

2009-07-03T05:47:00.000-07:00

Acts 14:21 And when they had preached the gospel to that city and made many disciples, they returned to Lystra, Iconium, and Antioch, 22 strengthening the souls of the disciples, exhorting them to continue in the faith, and saying, “We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God.” 23 So when they had appointed elders in every church, and prayed with fasting, they commended them to the Lord in whom they had believed. 24 And after they had passed through Pisidia, they came to Pamphylia. 25 Now when they had preached the word in Perga, they went down to Attalia. 26 From there they sailed to Antioch, where they had been commended to the grace of God for the work which they had completed.

27 Now when they had come and gathered the church together, they reported all that God had done with them, and that He had opened the door of faith to the Gentiles. 28 So they stayed there a long time with the disciples.

This is the last leg of Paul's first missionary journey. After Lystra, they head to Derbe, then make a return trip to Antioch. On the return trip, they re-visit each of the cities they stopped at on the first leg of the trip, encouraging the churches, and appointing elders. Upon their return to Antioch, they tell the church all that had happened, and the good work God had done. They stayed at Antioch for a time that is unspecified.

Acts 15:1 And certain men came down from Judea and taught the brethren, “Unless you are circumcised according to the custom of Moses, you cannot be saved.” 2 Therefore, when Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and dispute with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas and certain others of them should go up to Jerusalem, to the apostles and elders, about this question.3 So, being sent on their way by the church, they passed through Phoenicia and Samaria, describing the conversion of the Gentiles; and they caused great joy to all the brethren. 4 And when they had come to Jerusalem, they were received by the church and the apostles and the elders; and they reported all things that God had done with them. 5 But some of the sect of the Pharisees who believed rose up, saying, “It is necessary to circumcise them, and to command them to keep the law of Moses.”

Some Christian Jews (likely Pharisees) had come into Antioch and were teaching a false doctrine to the church. They were teaching salvation by works, which does not mesh with salvation by faith in Jesus. This caused a bit of an uproar, which led to Paul, Barnabas and others being sent to Jerusalem for a Council with the elders there. This meeting would prove to be very important in church history, since it addressed the issue of 'What must one do to be saved?'.

The main issues at hand were circumcision and unclean food. The Jewish Christians basically believed that the Gentile Christians had to first convert to Judaism before they could become Christians granted salvation. The Jewish people still clung to the law and circumcision as part of their being set apart by God. It was hard for them to accept that Gentiles could be saved without becoming a Jew proselyte first. Doing this would greatly diminish the spread of the Gospel, as Christianity would have just become another Jewish sect. Salvation is for all, regardless of what rituals you perform.

Here we are going to leave Acts for a while and focus on Galatians. There is some debate among scholars as to the timing of the letter to Galatians, and to whom it was addressed. A common viewpoint is that Paul wrote this letter to the churches he visited on his first missionary journey. These churches would have been in the southern Roman Galatian region. It is also thought by many to have been written just prior to the Jerusalem Council.* It address the doctrine the council is meeting about in Acts 15:6-29. So before I get into the meeting itself, I am going to go over the Galatian letter.

*Other viewpoints include that it was written after his 2nd journey, and that it was addressed to the northern Galatian area (which he would have visited during the 2nd trip)

Paul's Journey (Acts 14:1-7)

2009-07-02T05:20:00.000-07:00

Acts 14:1 Now it happened in Iconium that they went together to the synagogue of the Jews, and so spoke that a great multitude both of the Jews and of the Greeks believed. 2 But the unbelieving Jews stirred up the Gentiles and poisoned their minds against the brethren. 3 Therefore they stayed there a long time, speaking boldly in the Lord, who was bearing witness to the word of His grace, granting signs and wonders to be done by their hands.4 But the multitude of the city was divided: part sided with the Jews, and part with the apostles. 5 And when a violent attempt was made by both the Gentiles and Jews, with their rulers, to abuse and stone them, 6 they became aware of it and fled to Lystra and Derbe, cities of Lycaonia, and to the surrounding region. 7 And they were preaching the gospel there.

Iconium was a market city that was known for it's agriculture. It was a melting pot of different cultures and religions due to its commerce.

Paul and Barnabas, true to their pattern, began at the local synagogue. They were rejected, and turn to preaching to the Gentiles. The Jews stirred up the Gentiles against them, but that didn't deter Paul and Barnabas. In fact, it just made them proclaim the message with even more boldness! God empowered this witness by working through Paul and Barnabas to perform signs and miracles. Despite these miracles, there were still a number of unbelievers, and they began to divide the city. (The gospel does cause division. Jesus said himself that He would divide households. There is no gray area with Jesus, you either accept His gift of salvation, or you reject Him)

Just as in Antioch of Pisidia, the unbelievers stirred up the rulers in Iconium, and soon they were conspiring to stone Paul and Barnabas. They got wind of this, however, and were able to flee to Lystra before it was carried out.

Lystra was 24 miles south of Iconium, and was founded by Augustus Caesar in 6 BC. It was a Roman colony established primarily for the quartering of troops that protected that section of Roman road. However, there were few permanent Roman residents. The area was populated mostly by native Lyconians. There was no synagogue for Paul and Barnabas to start their preaching at, and there was a small Jewish presence. Paul met Timothy there, although it's unclear whether it was during this visit, or his second.

Acts 14:8 And in Lystra a certain man without strength in his feet was sitting, a cripple from his mother’s womb, who had never walked. 9 This man heard Paul speaking. Paul, observing him intently and seeing that he had faith to be healed, 10 said with a loud voice, “Stand up straight on your feet!” And he leaped and walked.

Being a crippled man during this time was a dire situation. Usually his only means for survival would be begging for alms from passerby. They were usually looked down upon. This man was a cripple from birth. He had been listening to Paul speak, and Paul saw that he had some measure of faith. He used God's power to heal the man, and to show His glory.

Although miracles aren't seen today like they were in the early church, we still have the power of the Holy Spirit to heal souls through the sharing of the gospel. Healing a soul has far more eternal consequences that healing of the physical body.

Acts 14:11 Now when the people saw what Paul had done, they raised their voices, saying in the Lycaonian language, “The gods have come down to us in the likeness of men!” 12 And Barnabas they called Zeus, and Paul, Hermes, because he was the chief speaker. 13 Then the priest of Zeus, whose temple was in front of their city, brought oxen and garlands to the gates, intending to sacrifice with the multitudes.

The people of Lystra would have spoke both Greek and Lycaonian. Paul and Barnabas likely did not speak the native Lycaonian, and it took some time for them to realize what the people intended to do. The people, after seeing the miracle healing, assumed that Paul and Barnabas were Greek gods. They called Paul Hermes (the 'inventor of language') and Barnabas Zeus. This was probably due to a local legend that was recorded in the Metamorphosis of Ovid, and they thought that Paul and Barnabas were the gods back for a return visit. Desperate to avoid destruction, they wanted to make a sacrifice to them to appease them.

Acts 14:14 But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard this, they tore their clothes and ran in among the multitude, crying out 15 and saying, “Men, why are you doing these things? We also are men with the same nature as you, and preach to you that you should turn from these useless things to the living God, who made the heaven, the earth, the sea, and all things that are in them, 16 who in bygone generations allowed all nations to walk in their own ways. 17 Nevertheless He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good, gave us rain from heaven and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness.” 18 And with these sayings they could scarcely restrain the multitudes from sacrificing to them.

Once Paul and Barnabas realized what was happening, they were horrified. They immediately tried to put a stop to it. Here, for the first time recorded in Acts, they are preaching directly to pagan polytheists. They skip the Old Testament history, and try to explain that there is only one true God, and they were to worship Him only.

Acts 14:19 Then Jews from Antioch and Iconium came there; and having persuaded the multitudes, they stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city, supposing him to be dead. 20 However, when the disciples gathered around him, he rose up and went into the city. And the next day he departed with Barnabas to Derbe.

Their efforts to convert the pagans were cut short when the persecutors from Antioch and Iconium showed up. They quickly persuaded the people to reject Paul and Barnabas, and Paul is stoned and left for dead. The hand of Christ protected him, and he was able to survive. This is just one episode of he suffering Jesus told Paul that he would endure for Him.

Their work in Iconium was not fruitless, however. There were disciples that helped him back into the city. The seed was planted.

Paul's Journey (Acts 13:42-52)

2009-07-01T04:23:00.000-07:00

This section of Acts speaks of how Paul's message of salvation through Jesus was often rejected by the Jews, and how he carried the message to the Gentiles. The passage below starts just after Paul's sermon in Antioch in Pisidia.

Acts 13:42 So when the Jews went out of the synagogue, the Gentiles begged that these words might be preached to them the next Sabbath. 43 Now when the congregation had broken up, many of the Jews and devout proselytes followed Paul and Barnabas, who, speaking to them, persuaded them to continue in the grace of God.

After the sermon, Paul and Barnabas left the synagogue. The Gentiles and many of the Jews and proselytes were thirsty to hear the Word of God, begging them to preach to them the next Sabbath. Many couldn't wait a whole week and were following them around. Paul and Barnabas (ever the encourager) exhorted them to continue in the grace of God.

What does continuing in the grace of God mean? Those who have truly accepted God's grace, and have genuine saving faith will walk in God's path. Their lives will show the work that God has done in them, and they will strive to do God's will. The following scripture references elaborate on this:

John 8:31 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed.

John 15:1 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vine dresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.

Those who truly believe will produce fruit in their lives that is evidence of their salvation. If you have claimed to be saved, but your life has not changed at all, then you need to make sure your faith is genuine. The true believer will want to share the good news, become bothered by the sins in their lives and make changes to correct it, have a desire to hear and know the Word of God, and a desire for fellowship with the Lord.

Colossians 1:21 And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled 22 in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight— 23 if indeed you continue in the faith, grounded and steadfast, and are not moved away from the hope of the gospel which you heard, which was preached to every creature under heaven, of which I, Paul, became a minister.

It's important to note that works and following the Law do not grant salvation, only faith can. However, the natural product of that saving faith is doing good work for God, and a genuine desire to abide by God's Word. We will never become perfectly sinless in this life, but those who have faith in Jesus, should strive always to become more Christ-like. It's a journey of faith with an awesome destination.

On with the next verses in Acts:

Acts 13:44 On the next Sabbath almost the whole city came together to hear the word of God. 45 But when the Jews saw the multitudes, they were filled with envy; and contradicting and blaspheming, they opposed the things spoken by Paul.

When the Jews saw that almost the whole city came to hear Paul the next Sabbath, they became angry. It was hard for them to accept that salvation had come for ALL people, not just the Jewish who believed that ritualistic keeping of the Law led to salvation.

Acts 13:46 Then Paul and Barnabas grew bold and said, “It was necessary that the word of God should be spoken to you first; but since you reject it, and judge yourselves unworthy of everlasting life, behold, we turn to the Gentiles.

Paul and Barnabas were not intimidated by their anger, but instead boldly proclaimed that they were to take the Word to the Gentiles. Paul always tries to take the gospel to the Jews first, but when it is rejected, he takes it to the Gentiles as well. Here he quotes Isaiah 49:6

Acts 13:47 For so the Lord has commanded us:

‘ I have set you as a light to the Gentiles,

That you should be for salvation to the ends of the earth.’ ”

This should remind the Jews that they are to be a light to the world. This verse in Isaiah is also a Messianic prophecy proclaiming that Jesus (who was a Jew) would bring salvation to the Gentiles.

Acts 13:48 Now when the Gentiles heard this, they were glad and glorified the word of the Lord. And as many as had been appointed to eternal life believed.

Acts 13:49 And the word of the Lord was being spread throughout all the region. 50 But the Jews stirred up the devout and prominent women and the chief men of the city, raised up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them from their region.

The fire of the gospel again was spreading throughout the region as new believers shared the Good News with others.

The Jews, however, used the prominent people in Antioch to incite anger against Paul and Barnabas, and they were ran out of town. This persecution is referred to later in 2 Timothy 3:11, and perhaps in 2 Corinthians 11:24-25

Acts 13:51 But they shook off the dust from their feet against them, and came to Iconium.

Shaking the dust off their feet as Paul and Barnabas left, was a rather large insult to the Jews of Antioch. In that day, Jews were careful to not bring Gentile dust into Israel. By this act, Paul and Barnabas were saying that the Jews who rejected the gospel were no better than the non-believing Gentiles, and were condemned. See Luke 10:10-12 where Jesus commands this of his disciples. After they leave Antioch, they head to Iconium.

52 And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.

The disciples (believers) were filled with a joy that only salvation can bring, and were filled with the Holy Spirit.

Romans 8

2009-06-30T06:00:00.001-07:00

Paul's Journey (Acts 13:38-41)

2009-06-29T05:27:00.000-07:00

Acts 13:38 Therefore let it be known to you, brethren, that through this Man is preached to you the forgiveness of sins;

Paul speaks of the forgiveness of sins through Jesus.

39 and by Him everyone who believes is justified from all things from which you could not be justified by the law of Moses.

Through Jesus, everyone who genuinely believes in His payment for our sins becomes justified in the eyes of God, which cannot happen simply by keeping the law.

40 Beware therefore, lest what has been spoken in the prophets come upon you:

41 ‘ Behold, you despisers, Marvel and perish!
For I work a work in your days,
A work which you will by no means believe,
Though one were to declare it to you.’”

Paul urges them to repent (acknowledge their sins and be truly sorry for them) and believe, or they will face God's judgement and wrath.

Here is what this message boils down to: We all sin. Whether openly, or in our hearts, we all sin against God. It is impossible for us to live a sinless life, for we are corrupted by sin. Our very thoughts often break the law (have you ever had a dishonest, lustful, or murderous thought? Have you ever spoke less than the absolute truth? If so, you are a sinner, and are just as guilty of sinning against God as the most blatant deviant) Our sins break the law, therefore we stand condemned before God. God is perfect, sinless. Therefore He cannot let sin go unpunished, as it is against the very nature of God.

No amount of our feeble efforts to abide by the law can save us. The law only serves to show us our sin. Our only hope for salvation is in Jesus. Our righteous, and loving God sent us a means for our sin debt to be paid. He sent Jesus to earth, to live a perfectly sinless life. He was the ultimate sacrificial lamb; a spotless, blemish free sacrifice to cover (pay for) our sins. He took the wrath of God that we deserve. The only way to salvation is through faith in Jesus. By that faith, you are accepting His payment for your sin debt. By rejecting Him, you reject that payment, and have to stand on your own, uncovered, before God to receive His judgement. That judgement will result in eternal separation from God. Eternal condemnation. God gives us that choice. Believe, accept, and love Him, or reject and hate Him. The consequences we receive are entirely our choice. It's amazing how many reject His gift of payment.

Have you accepted that gift? Do you have genuine faith in that payment, or did you just pray a prayer in church? Will you have to stand uncovered before the God that knows your inner most thoughts and deeds?

Paul's Journey (Acts 13:22-37)

2009-06-27T04:19:00.000-07:00

In the next part of Paul's sermon, Paul touches on some of the prophecies that Jesus fulfilled. The fulfillment of these prophecies show that Jesus is the true Messiah. I encourage you , at some point, to study the prophecies. Below are a couple of charts listing them, but they aren't complete. (I haven't looked at the rest of these websites, and do not know their content, I'm only referencing these charts) There are many books on the subject that can help your study.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/2958341/Chart-of-Jesus-Prophetic-Fulfillment
http://members.datafast.net.au/sggram/f986.htm

I've relied heavily on the MacArthur New Testament commentary for this section.

Acts 13:23 From this man’s seed, according to the promise, God raised up for Israel a Savior—Jesus—

In this verse, Paul is tying together that Jesus is David's "offspring" or his descendant, and was the Savior promised by God in the Old Testament.

24 after John had first preached, before His coming, the baptism of repentance to all the people of Israel. 25 And as John was finishing his course, he said, ‘Who do you think I am? I am not He. But behold, there comes One after me, the sandals of whose feet I am not worthy to loose.’

Here he is talking about John the Baptist. (Isaiah 40:3-5, Malachi 3:1) John humbly accepted his calling to proclaim repentance and the coming of the Messiah. He points to Jesus as the Messiah, and states that he is unworthy to even perform the most menial task for Him.

The Jewish audience that Paul was preaching to would have most likely have heard of John's ministry and his proclamation of Jesus as the Messiah.

26 “Men and brethren, sons of the family of Abraham, and those among you who fear God, to you the word of this salvation has been sent. 27 For those who dwell in Jerusalem, and their rulers, because they did not know Him, nor even the voices of the Prophets which are read every Sabbath, have fulfilled them in condemning Him. 28 And though they found no cause for death in Him, they asked Pilate that He should be put to death. 29 Now when they had fulfilled all that was written concerning Him, they took Him down from the tree and laid Him in a tomb.

Here Paul addresses some of the issues the Jewish people would have had with Jesus being the Messiah.

1. Why didn't they recognize Him? they didn't recognize him because of their sin ridden, hardened hearts. They were too wrapped up in keeping the Law and their own perception of righteousness.

2. If they rejected the Messiah, was that God's plan? Their rejection of him fulfilled prophecy.

Isaiah 53:3
Psalm 22:1, 22:8, 22:17, 31:5, 34:20, 69:4, 69: 21, 109:25
Zechariah 12:10
Crucifixion wasn't a Jewish form of execution, yet it was predicted in Psalm 22, and Numbers 21
Usually those that were crucified were buried in mass graves, yet Jesus was laid in a tomb (Isaiah 53:9)

30 But God raised Him from the dead. 31 He was seen for many days by those who came up with Him from Galilee to Jerusalem, who are His witnesses to the people.

Paul cites witness to the fact that Jesus was raised from the dead. There are more than 500 witnesses (1 Corinthians 15:6)

32 And we declare to you glad tidings—that promise which was made to the fathers.

The promise that God made to the patriarchs has been fulfilled. Our savior is here!

33 God has fulfilled this for us their children, in that He has raised up Jesus. As it is also written in the second Psalm:

‘ You are My Son, Today I have begotten You.’

Paul is quoting from Psalm 2:7, stating that Christ is God's Son

34 And that He raised Him from the dead, no more to return to corruption, He has spoken thus:

‘ I will give you the sure mercies of David.’

Here he is quoting from Isaiah 55:3, the promise of David's blessings.

35 Therefore He also says in another Psalm:

‘ You will not allow Your Holy One to see corruption.’

36 For David, after he had served his own generation by the will of God, fell asleep, was buried with his fathers, and saw corruption; 37 but He whom God raised up saw no corruption.

And here he is quoting from Psalm 16:10: although David did die and his body decayed (became corrupt), Jesus did not decay when He died, but was instead raised up and glorified.

Have you accepted the truth of Jesus as Savior? Do you fully understand that He lived a perfectly sinless life for us, and then paid the price for our sins, so that we may someday stand in the presence of God? Do you accept that Jesus IS God, part of the trinity? Our perfect God cannot let sin go unpunished, yet He gave us a chance, a means to be reconciled to Him. We only have to accept the gift of mercy and grace that He has given us through Jesus.

Paul's Journey (Acts 13:14-22)

2009-06-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

Acts 13:14 But when they departed from Perga, they came to Antioch in Pisidia, and went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day and sat down.

Although this is a brief mention of their travel to Antioch in Pisidia, the trip would have been long and treacherous. The road from Perga wound through mountainous terrain, and crossed two rivers. It was also filled with marauders that often attacked travelers.

It's also important to note that this is a different Antioch than the one that Paul and Barnabas started from. Why so many Antiochs? Around 300BC there was a Seleucid king named Selecus I Nicator. He established numerous cities within his empire, and named them after family members. He named 16 of them Antioch after his father, Antiochus. There were also 6 Laodicea's which were named for his mother.

After arriving in Antioch, Paul and Barnabas would have went to the Jewish quarter for lodging, thus becoming familiar to the Jewish community there. Once the Sabbath came, they would have naturally gone to the synagogue.

The Jewish synagogues had a structure a bit different from our churches today. There were no 'pastors'. Instead, they would have had Archontes (leaders) or Presbyteroi (elders) that were in charge of direction and oversight of the synagogue. These positions were typically held for a year at a time. They also had an Archisynagogos (ruler) who would have been in charge of organizing public worship. They would have been selected from the Archontes. It was usually one person, but sometimes there were two. *

Acts 13:15 And after the reading of the Law and the Prophets, the rulers of the synagogue sent to them, saying, “Men and brethren, if you have any word of exhortation for the people, say on.”

The service at the synagogue would have typically opened with a recitation of the shema - the Jewish profession of faith, followed by the reading of the law and prophets. Then a rabbi would have taught. It was customary to let visiting rabbi teach, and knowing that Paul was trained by Gamaliel they would have been eager have him teach.

Acts 13:16 Then Paul stood up, and motioning with his hand said, “Men of Israel, and you who fear God, listen:

Paul gesturing with his hand was expected of any good orator of the time, it would have been natural for a trained rabbi.

He address two different groups here. The "Men of Israel" would have been the Jewish people. The term "you who fear God" referred to the Gentiles that followed Judaism. These people would have worshipped the one true God, and followed Jewish rituals. They would not have performed the rite of circumcision, which would have made them Jewish proselytes. (although God fearers and proselyte could have been used interchangeably in some instances).

Acts 13:17-22 - Here, Paul narrates a summary of the history of God's people in the Old Testament. He summarizes this to show how the past has led up to the birth of the Messiah, Jesus. It is important for him to lay the foundation in this way, to make his news to the Messiah credible in the eyes of the synagogue.

*Zondervan Illustrated Bible Background Commentary

Paul the Apostle Artwork

2009-06-24T18:27:00.000-07:00

Many artists over the centuries have tried to capture the essence of Paul. Here's a collection of various pieces:

Art

2009-06-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

Paul's Journey (Acts 13:6-13)

2009-06-23T04:43:00.000-07:00

Acts 13:6 Now when they had gone through the island to Paphos, they found a certain sorcerer, a false prophet, a Jew whose name was Bar-Jesus, 7 who was with the proconsul, Sergius Paulus, an intelligent man. This man called for Barnabas and Saul and sought to hear the word of God. 8 But Elymas the sorcerer (for so his name is translated) withstood them, seeking to turn the proconsul away from the faith.

After preaching in Salamis, they travel around 106 miles to Paphos. It's assumed that they were preaching as they traveled. They had their work cut out for them in Paphos, as it was a very pagan city. It was a great center for worship of the goddess Aphrodite, and was full of sorcery, prostitution and more.

Sergius Paulus was the proconsul for Cyprus. A proconsul is the equivalent of a governor or military commander. His proconsulship is documented by an archaeological source: an inscription found in Cyprus that reads "in the proconsulship of Paulus". As a leader in those times, he would have had a prophet, or sorcerer, with him to be an advisor. (this is what Bar-Jesus was) He had heard about Saul and Barnabas, and wanted to hear what they were preaching, most likely because he wanted the same sort of council that he got from Bar-Jesus.

The name Bar-Jesus can be a little confusing here. It means "son of Jesus/Jeshua". It is not, however, referring him being a follower or son of Jesus Christ. Jesus was a fairly common name in that time, and he may have just been a son of a Jesus. Or it is possible that Bar-Jesus was just using that name because of the things he had heard about the Lord Jesus and wanted to seem important. His by-name, Elymas, actually means sorcerer. It's a descriptive name thought to be Aramaic or Arabic in nature. *

A few points to remember about Bar-Jesus:

The word used here for sorcerer is the Greek work magos which can mean one of two things: 1. a magi that is a respected astrologer (much like the Magi that came to see the infant Jesus) or 2. a false prophet or deceiving magician...which is the case here.
A false prophet speaks his own words, and says they are divinely inspired. A true prophet speaks the word of God.
Bar-Jesus was Jewish. Jews had a reputation among Romans for having mystical powers, and the gift of prophecy.

The elaborate description that Luke gives Bar-Jesus emphasizes that Christianity opposes superstition and sorcery.

9 Then Saul, who also is called Paul, filled with the Holy Spirit, looked intently at him

This is the first time in Acts that Saul is referred to as Paul. He will be referred to as Paul from here on out in Luke's accounts. This shift is because here Paul moves into Gentile territory. Saul is his Jewish name, Paul is his Roman name. He would be more easily recognized by Gentiles by his Roman name.

Paul is filled with the Holy Spirit. In preparation for this confrontation, God's Holy Spirit fills Paul. God is working through him.

10 and said, “O full of all deceit and all fraud, you son of the devil, you enemy of all righteousness, will you not cease perverting the straight ways of the Lord? 11 And now, indeed, the hand of the Lord is upon you, and you shall be blind, not seeing the sun for a time.” And immediately a dark mist fell on him, and he went around seeking someone to lead him by the hand.

Paul harshly denounces Bar-Jesus for his interference in God's work. He is called out as a deceiver and fraud. He is called a son of the devil, and an enemy. Satan, was working through Bar-Jesus to put a kink in the spread of the gospel to this leader.

The judgement handed to the sorcerer is quick, but merciful. The blindness is only temporary, and perhaps (although it's never mentioned) it gave Bar-Jesus the opportunity to see the light of Christ.

12 Then the proconsul believed, when he saw what had been done, being astonished at the teaching of the Lord.

The proconsul believed. And it's indicated here that it wasn't just a superficial belief because of the miracle performed by Paul, but because of the teaching he received of the Lord. History points to this being a true conversion as well, since archaeologists have found that Sergious Paulus' daughter and grandson were both Christians*

13 Now when Paul and his party set sail from Paphos, they came to Perga in Pamphylia; and John, departing from them, returned to Jerusalem.

Perga is in Pamphylia, which is north of Cyprus. They passed through Perga, and traveled to Antioch in Pisidia (which is a different Antioch than the church they came from) It is here in Perga that John leaves them. Luke doesn't say why he left, but Acts 15:37-39 makes it clear that it was not a friendly departure. In fact, it eventually leads to the split of Paul and Barnabas as a missionary team.

*Paul & His Letters, John B. Polhill

Paul's Journey (Acts 13:4-5)

2009-06-22T08:29:00.000-07:00

Acts 13:4 So, being sent out by the Holy Spirit, they went down to Seleucia, and from there they sailed to Cyprus. 5And when they arrived in Salamis, they preached the word of God in the synagogues of the Jews. They also had John as their assistant.

The first destination of Paul's First Missionary Journey was the island of Cyprus. They began at Salamis, preaching at a Jewish synagogue. Salamis was the main port for Cyprus, and was located on the Eastern end of the island. Paphos was the capitol city.

A little about Cyprus:

The third largest island in the Mediterranean, located about 60 miles off the coast of Syria.
Approximately 138 miles long x 60 miles wide.
Has a long Greek history.
Under Roman rule during Paul's time.
Jewish settlers migrated to Cyprus from the time of Alexander the Great onward.
Barnabas was from Cyprus.
A Wikipedia article about the Ancient History of Cyprus

In the above passages, we see the beginning pattern of Paul's missions. He would preach to the Jews first, then to the Gentiles. This was based on the Jewish people being God's chosen people. The message was for ALL people, but Paul was going to try to reach his fellow Jews first.

We also see that in addition to Saul and Barnabas, John was traveling with them. John was a cousin of Barnabas, and was perhaps familiar with the area of Cyprus as well.

2009-06-21T10:18:00.001-07:00

Paul's Journey (Acts 13:2-3)

2009-06-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

Now we begin to get into Paul's first Missionary Journey. Here's a map from http://www.oldtimegospel.org/ to help you visualize:

In this chapter in Acts, the focus shifts from the growth of the Jewish church, to the spread of the church throughout the Roman Empire to the Gentiles. Saul and Barnabas at this point are working at the church in Antioch. There were a great number of diverse people both attending the church, and working as preachers and teachers.

Acts 13:2 As they ministered to the Lord and fasted, the Holy Spirit said, "Now separate to Me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them." 3 Then, having fasted and prayed, and laid hands on them, they sent them away.

Note that the church at Antioch did not have a big committee meeting and decide to send two of their best out on a mission trip. They received the instruction through their prayer and ministering to the Lord. The central part of any church leadership should be prayer and worship of the Lord. Without those, there is no real guidance from God, and the church will fall out of His will for it.

Does your church seek guidance from God on all matters?

Paul's Journey (Acts 9:32-11:30)

2009-06-19T05:06:00.000-07:00

I'm going to summarize the next few chapters in Acts, since it only indirectly relates to our study of Paul. I encourage you to read it, as it does give some background information, and relates the feel of the time.

Acts 9:32-11:18 -

Peter preaches throughout the country and performs several miracles.
He is sent a vision that shows that Gentiles are to be given the gospel as well as the Jews.
He meets with a centurion named Cornelius (a Gentile) who is saved.
Peter is called before the Jewish church because of his ministering to the 'unclean' Gentiles and explains his vision to them.

Acts 11:19-21 -

After Stephen's death, the persecution scattered believers all through the area.
Spread to Phoenicia, Cyprus, and Antioch.
The gospel has been preached to the Hellenists, and the church in Antioch is growing rapidly.

Acts 11:22-24 -

The church in Jerusalem sends Barnabas to Antioch to help minister to the growing church. (He was from Cyprus, so he wouldn't be perceived as an outsider Acts 4:36-37)
Barnabas is described as a good man, full of the Holy Spirit, and an encourager.
The church added a great many people.

Ok, now back to the study...

Acts 11:25 Then Barnabas departed for Tarsus to seek Saul.

The Greek word anazēteō is used here for seek. It means a laborious search. In other words, Saul was hard to find. Most likely this was because Saul had been disinherited because of his conversion. He would have lost his home in Tarsus. (Philippians 3:8) It had also been several years since he had fled Jerusalem.

Acts 11:26 And when he had found him, he brought him to Antioch. So it was that for a whole year they assembled with the church and taught a great many people.

Barnabas and Saul worked at the church in Antioch for a year, teaching the new Christians. It is important to teach and encourage Christians after their conversion. Your walk with God is an ongoing learning process that is not completed until after we reach Heaven. We are to continually refine ourselves, and learn from God's Word. Good teachers in the church are just as essential as a good preacher.

Do you continue to study the Word of God? It's a living book, and no matter how many times you read it, God will speak to you through it if you allow Him to. Are you part of a church that helps you learn and grow?

Acts 11:26 (cont.) And the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch.

This is the first time in the Bible that the word Christian is used. When people were first called Christian, it was meant as a derogatory word, and was only used by non-Christians to label the Christ-followers. It was used much the same way as Herodians (herodiani- the followers of the house of Herod) or caesariani (the servants of Caesar). Christians (christianoi) meant followers of the Messiah (christos), Jesus of Nazareth. Peter later encourages people to wear the label as an honor. It really began as a self-designation only after the New Testament period by Ignatius, an Antioch church leader.

Acts 11:27 And in these days prophets came from Jerusalem to Antioch. 28 Then one of them, named Agabus, stood up and showed by the Spirit that there was going to be a great famine throughout all the world, which also happened in the days of Claudius Caesar. 29 Then the disciples, each according to his ability, determined to send relief to the brethren dwelling in Judea. 30 This they also did, and sent it to the elders by the hands of Barnabas and Saul.

There are several non-biblical sources that report a famine during this time (Roman historian Suetonius, and Josephus are two examples) Apparently Antioch was not as hard hit as some of the other areas, and the disciples there were able to send some relief to Judea. We are to follow this example, and give what we can to help others.

How do you give to others in need?

2009-06-18T06:33:00.001-07:00

Paul's Journey (Acts 20-31)

2009-06-18T05:54:00.000-07:00

This post will be less of an in depth study, and more of a timeline of events. This area of Acts can be pretty confusing concerning where Saul went, and when he went there. It helps if you have a commentary and can pull all the scripture together from other chapters and Books of the Bible. So pull out your Bible and follow along...

Acts 9:20-22 Saul began immediately preaching in Damascus. The Bible says that all who heard were amazed and confounded. This is because the persecutor Saul was suddenly preaching Christ. This angered the Jews who were in Damascus, so Saul left and spent 3 years in Arabia. Galatians 1:17-18 (this is not modern day Arabia, but rather the area that Syria and parts of Saudi Arabia are today) While there, he apparently angered the government, because the Nabatean King Aretas was trying to arrest him when he returned to Damascus at the end of the 3 years. ( 2 Corinthians 11:32 ) Disciples in Damascus help him escape by lowering him through an opening in the wall in a basket. (Acts 9:22)

From Damascus, Saul heads to Jerusalem where he attempts to join with the disciples. (Acts 9:26-28) His reputation precedes him, however, and they do not believe that he is being truthful. They think he's trying to trick them to infiltrate the church. One disciple does believe him: Barnabas. He helps Saul meet with the apostles (Galatians 1:18) Peter and James (the Lord's brother, not the James of the 12 disciples) He stays with them for 15 days. This opens the door for Saul to begin preaching to the Hellenistic Jews in Jerusalem. (Acts 9:29) Hellenistic Jews were Greek-speaking Jews, like Saul himself. They were angered by his testimony, and attempted to kill him. The disciples found out about the plot (perhaps from Saul's vision recorded in Acts 22:17-21) and once again he escaped. He went to Caesarea and then on to his hometown of Tarsus. (Acts 9:30) The church in Jerusalem then enjoyed a time of peace and growth.

Saul's activity during his time in Tarsus isn't clearly known, but according to Galatians 1:21 he did continue to preach, and likely planted some churches in the area.

As you can see, where ever Saul went, trouble followed. But this stirring up of emotions helped fuel the fire of the spreading gospel.

Paul's Journey (Acts 9:17-19)

2009-06-17T05:27:00.000-07:00

Acts 9:17 And Ananias went his way and entered the house; and laying his hands on him he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you came, has sent me that you may receive your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit."

Here, we see that Saul has received a special gift from God: to be filled with the Holy Spirit. When we receive Christ into our hearts, we are convicted by the Holy Spirit, and indwelled by the Holy Spirit. Some will also be filled with the Holy Spirit to be equipped to do God's great work. This is the case with Saul. He was to undergo great suffering, and go to great lengths to spread the gospel. Being filled with the Holy Spirit would enable him to do these things. **

Saul was transformed by the Holy Spirit. His good qualities were refined and strengthened, while his bad qualities were done away with and replaced with good: hatred to love, aggression to peace, and pride into humility.

Acts 9:18 Immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he received his sight at once; and he arose and was baptized.

Here, as in other New Testament examples, baptism occurred almost immediately after conversion. Baptism is an act of obedience, and an outward symbol of your commitment to Christ. There is no need for a waiting period, or for extensive learning before baptism. As in Biblical examples, it should be done only after conversion, and as soon after as possible.

Saul's baptism was first and foremost obedience to God. It was a symbol of his commitment. It also was a pivotal moment in which he became a Christian brother instead of a persecutor. His baptism was the death of his old self, and the birth of the new.

Acts 9:19 So when he had received food, he was strengthened. Then Saul spent some days with the disciples at Damascus.

Although later in this study I will cover fellowship with a church in more detail, it bears touching on here. Saul immediately sought out the company of fellow believers. This fellowship is essential to growth as a Christian. We are created to build relationships both with God, and each other. Developing relationships with fellow believers helps us grow, gives us comfort in hard times, holds us accountable for our actions, and strengthens our walk with Christ. That is why every believer should seek out a church community to belong to. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, but it is something a Christian should do. If you don't have a church family, you are missing out on an integral part of being in God's family. Throughout the Bible, God's people have gathered together to worship, learn about and celebrate Him.

If you have been saved by Christ, how has the Holy Spirit refined you? How is the Holy Spirit still at work in you? Keep in mind that our refining will never be complete here on earth, it will be an ongoing process.

I know that for me personally, I have seen several major changes in my heart and mind as the result of the Holy Spirit's work in me. Things that I would have never changed if left to my own devices. I also feel the conviction over things that still need a great deal of work in my life. I know that my heart and soul are a work in progress, and I try daily to take at least a small step in the right direction.

Have you followed Christ in believer's Baptism? Is this an act of obedience that you haven't done yet? If you have, how has it affected your walk with Christ? If not, what is holding you back?

The day of my Baptism was an emotional one for me. It was the death of my old life. I knew that in that one act of obedience, I was opening a door to a different life. Have my physical circumstances changed? No, not all that much. But my heart circumstances have radically changed. And my Baptism symbolized that change. It was my public confession that I was now a child of God. It was a huge step for me.

Do you belong to a church family? What role does it play in your life? Does your church family keep the worship of God and following his commands a priority? Are you working toward building relationships within the church, or do you just fill a seat on Sundays?

This is also something I need to work on. It's hard for me sometimes to start new relationships, and I've been a little slow going in this. But I do see the importance of it, and can see how being in church has benefited our family.

**MacArthur New Testament Commentary

Paul's Journey Three Conversion Accounts

2009-06-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

Now, a bit about the three accounts of Paul's conversion in Acts. At first glance, some of the accounts seem to conflict. However, upon further examination of the context, you can see that they are just expanded versions of the first narrative account that are aimed at different audiences.

First, a list of the 3 accounts:

1. Acts 9:1-19 - This is Luke's narrative of Paul's conversion experience, told as an outside observer. He's just recounting the basics of what happened.

2. Acts 22:3-16 - This account was spoken by Paul as part of his testimony given before a Jewish mob.

3. Acts 26:4-18 - This is part of Paul's address before King Agrippa.

I encourage you to read each of these accounts as a group. They paint a more complete picture of his conversion than any of them standing alone.

The three different accounts and their differing viewpoints can be seen as follows:

1. The focus here is solely to document his conversion to give a background for his ministry that is recorded in the rest of Acts. It's a rather cut and dry presentation that narrows it down to the important points.

2. The testimony to the Jewish mob has a focus of his commission by Jesus to spread the gospel to "all". It expands a bit on Ananias, giving evidence that he was a devout Jewish man in good standing with the Jewish community. It also details instructions that Ananias gave to Paul that God had revealed to him: that he would be a witness to "all".

3. This testimony before King Agrippa has a third focus: that of God's command to Paul to share the gospel with the Jewish then to the Gentile so that they may be turned from darkness to light. The message he received from the Lord is detailed here more so than in the other two accounts.

Another point to address is the differences in what the witnesses saw and heard in the different accounts. After reading all accounts, one can reach one conclusion about them: They saw the light, but not the vision. And they heard the sound, but did not understand the words. This epiphany was meant for Paul alone.

Bibliography

Each of these accounts has a different focus.

Paul's Journey (Acts 9:10-15)

2009-06-15T05:11:00.000-07:00

Acts 9:10 Now there was a certain disciple at Damascus named Ananias; and to him the Lord said in a vision, "Ananias."
And he said, "Here I am, Lord."
11 So the Lord said to him, "Arise and go to the street called Straight, and inquire at the house of Judas for one called Saul of Tarsus, for behold, he is praying. 12 And in a vision he has seen a man named Ananias coming in and putting his hand on him, so that he might receive his sight."
13 Then Ananias answered, "Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much harm he has done to Your saints in Jerusalem. 14 And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on Your name."

Today, we are reading about Ananias. The Lord used a believer to minister to Saul. At first, Ananias is reluctant to go. This is because he has heard that Saul was coming to arrest Christians, and had gotten authority from the government to do so. To Ananias, going to Saul would be like throwing himself under the bus! Picture yourself, waiting for the coming scourge, knowing you are going to be thrown in jail for your faith. Then instead of avoiding the scourge, God tells you to go find it! As Christians, we are often asked to do hard things that we don't understand.

Ananias voiced his fears to the Lord. He was honest in letting Him know that this was not something he wanted to do, because of the danger involved. Yet, he did not deny God. The Lord gave him a few more details, and told him again to go.

It's never wrong to tell God you are afraid. He knows your heart. He knows when you are angry, scared, sad, or hurt. To be anything other than honest with God is pointless, and irreverent. He may not deliver you from the circumstances that are causing your emotions, but He can give you comfort and peace about them. And know that whatever you are going through, it's part of His plan for your life, and there is always a reason for it.

In my first study post, I mentioned that I had a little Saul in me. Well, God sent me an Ananias too. He sent someone that I had wronged grievously to minster to me, to tend my wounds. This person had every right to turn me away, and to harbor resentment for things I had done. But instead, he came to me with open arms, and a Christian heart. He helped 'open my eyes' to the things I had been blind to. He has done hard things in the name of the Lord. I can only hope that I can someday do this in turn for someone else that is in as desperate need of it as I was.

15 But the Lord said to him, "Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings and the children of Israel.

The Lord is revealing some of His plans for Saul. He is going to use the one who caused much suffering to further His kingdom. Saul is going to take the Good News beyond the Jewish community, to the Gentiles. As a Pharisee, this had to be a hard thing for Saul. To preach the Messiah to anyone other than God's Chosen People probably went against his grain a little. Is it any wonder he spent 3 sightless days praying and fasting? He was undergoing major soul makeover. The one who was trying to stomp out the fire of the gospel would soon be fanning the flames!

16 For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name's sake."

Over the course of his ministry, Saul would suffer greatly for the Lord. He would undergo physical pain, and emotional turmoil. But he accepted it with love for Jesus. He knew it was part of God's plan for him on this earth, and he knew that it was only temporary.

Has God ever asked you to do something you didn't want to do? Did you respond with and obedient heart?

Bibliography

Paul's Journey Bibliography

2009-06-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

This is a running list of the resources used in my study on Paul.

Zondervan Illustrated Bible Backgrounds Commentary, Clinton E. Arnold, General Editor
MacArthur New Testament Commentary, by John MacArthur
Who's Who in Christian History, by J. D. Douglas and Philip W. Comfort (Libronix Version)
The Chronological Study Bible (NKJV), by Thomas Nelson
http://www.ccel.org/ (for maps)
Matthew Henry Bible Commentary
Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary, by Trent C. Butler, Chad Brand, Charles Draper, and Archie England
To Live is Christ, by Beth Moore
Paul & His Letters, by John B. Polhill
An Expositional Commentary - Acts, by James Montgomery Boice
The Theology of Paul the Apostle, by James D. G. Dunn

2009-06-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

Paul's Journey (Acts 9:6-9)

2009-06-14T06:01:00.000-07:00

Acts 9:6 So he, trembling and astonished, said, " Lord, what do You want me to do?"

Trembling and atonished. Can you imagine. Jesus literally comes and knocks you to the ground and asks you why you are acting against Him. Can you imagine the fear? The sudden knowledge of the terrible sins you were commiting, and standing there before the God that holds you accountable for them? Knowing that He could strike you out of existence in the blink of an eye? Yet, there is mercy. Here, Jesus doesn't strike down the one who persecutes Him, instead, He uses him in astounding ways.

Saul gathers the courage to ask the Lord what He would have him do. In this one question Saul changes his life. He acknowledges Jesus as Lord, and then hands his life over to Him. A true, instant conversion.

When you accepted Jesus as your Savior, did you truly? Did you acknowledge Him as Lord over ALL things? Did you place your life, and your will into His hands?

This is something I struggle with. I kick against the goads. Sometimes I think I know better. I'm usually proven wrong.

Then the Lord said to him, "Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do."

As He does so often throughout the Bible, God simply tells Saul to go. The details come later. Often, God tells us to do something without giving us the details. That's where faith steps in. You must faithfully follow where God leads, even if you can't see where you are going. He's not going to reveal His complete plan for you. You have to trust in Him.

7 And the men who journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice but seeing no one. 8 Then Saul arose from the ground, and when his eyes were opened he saw no one. But they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. 9 And he was three days without sight, and neither ate nor drank.

Saul's conversion was followed by days of prayer and introspection. The revelation of his sin ruined him in a glorious way. He was being transformed, as we all must be. God was working on his heart.

If you have not been transformed by God...then have you given your life to Him truly? He does great works in us when we become His children. Have you allowed His work to begin? Or are you holding on to your old life with a death grip?

More about Goading

2009-06-13T05:48:00.000-07:00

Ok....picture for a moment that you are walking along, minding your own business, when someone comes along and gives you a little push in the other direction. Annoying....so you kind of push back a little, and turn back the way you were headed. You get pushed again...only harder this time. "Hey!" you yell and try to shove them back, but man...they are big! So you just turn back and walk on in your own direction. Suddenly, they poke you hard with a big pointy stick. "Ow!!!!!" Yeah...that hurt. You start kind of yelling, asking what gives them the right to poke you with that stick.

Turns out, you were bopping along with your ear buds in, marching to your own drum so to speak, while this person was trying to get your attention by saying: "Hey, you are headed towards a big cliff" Of course, you are so absorbed in what you were doing, you didn't hear. So they give you a little nudge. You just got annoyed. They push you harder, in an attempt to divert your path. You got mad. So they just picked up a big sharp goad and jabbed you with it. FINALLY, you rip off those ear buds, intending to really buck up and defend yourself. Which gives that person the opportunity to say "Hey, you are about to walk yourself off a cliff"

That's kind of how I picture the "It's hard to kick against the goads" phrase in the Bible. It's God telling us something, but we ignore it until he starts to make it hurt. We make it harder on ourselves. We should just let God lead us, instead of pretending that we know what's better for us than He does.

2009-06-13T05:08:00.000-07:00

Paul's Journey (Acts 9:1-5)

2009-06-12T04:59:00.000-07:00

I encourage you, as you are doing a Bible study, to get a notebook. Dedicate it solely to that study. Write in it. If you find things online, print them and paste them in. (I have maps glued in mine right now!) Use highlighters, colored pens, etc. Doodle. Whatever it takes to help your mind meditate on what you are reading and learning. Write down your prayers, and your thoughts. And if you have questions, dig! Research anything that catches your eye. You'll be glad you did. Now, on to our study on Paul....

We are picking up with Saul on the road to Damascus.

Acts 9:1 Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest 2 and asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.

Saul, in his pursuit of Christians, went to Caiaphas (the high priest at the time) to acquire extradition letters to bring his quarry back to Jerusalem for trial and sentencing. He was able to do this because of a precedent in the Roman law in which a proconsul had allowed "pestilent" men to be brought back from Egypt (to which they had fled) to be tried by Jewish law.*

The language used here: "breathing threats and murder against the disciples" shows how consumed Saul was with stomping out the gospel. He was a bit like a mad dog, ruthless and relentless.

Sadly, I can relate to Saul in this pre-conversion state. Before God graced me with salvation, I tried everything in my power to stomp out Jesus in my home and family. I felt uncomfortable and angry when around Christians that were sharing their faith. I even tried to run from my marriage to get away from it. It shames me to this day. I am thankful, however, that my pitiful efforts could do nothing against God's will for my family.

Have you ever done or felt anything like this? Before Grace, did you have a little Saul in you? Or are you there now?

Acts 9:3 As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. 4 Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?"
5 And he said, "Who are You, Lord?"
Then the Lord said, "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads."**

As Saul was heading to Damascus, he was most likely headed there mounted.*** He was an important official, and in a hurry. When the Lord's light appeared to him, he was knocked to the ground. Talk about being knocked off your high horse! He was humbled on the spot. Once Jesus revealed Himself to him, Saul, being very learned in the Scriptures, immediately realized the grievous sins he had committed in persecuting Christians. He saw that he was persecuting God Himself.

In his later testimonies, Paul writes that the light was brighter than the mid-day sun. The glory of God drives out all darkness, even from our hearts. Saul was in the midst of his darkest sins, when Jesus came and rescued him from them with grace and mercy. Even though Saul did not seek it. It's important to realize that Jesus' Grace isn't something we can acquire. We cannot be good enough to get it. We cannot chase Jesus down and take it. Only He can extend His hand to us, and grant us mercy, although we don't deserve it. The Good News is, He does seek us. We aren't always knocked off a horse in mid-stride, or blinded by His glory, but he is there calling us. Even the worst of us.

Note also, that Saul wasn't saved in a church altar call, or because of a beautifully spoken sermon. He wasn't attending a revival, or going to VBS. God called to him right where he was. God knows where you are, and you don't have to wait until Sunday at church to talk to Him or accept his Grace.

A common misconception these days is that repeating a little prayer that your pastor or counselor leads you in grants you Salvation. This simply is not true. Salvation is a condition of the heart. It involves humbling yourself before God, and acknowledging your sinful nature. It's the knowledge that there is not one of us that is sinless before God. It's realizing that there is no hope without God. It's gratefully accepting His Grace and Mercy, even though you do not deserve it.

I wasn't saved in a church. My salvation began one fall afternoon, in an empty house. I was alone, going about my own sinful life, when I too was knocked to the ground. There was no blinding light, no voice calling out to me. There was only the quiet conviction that my life was wrong. I felt the pull of God, although I didn't realize at the time that Jesus was calling me. But that small still voice was enough. Enough for me to turn around and do the uncomfortable. To humble myself.

Now, I am not saying you shouldn't go to church. Christians need the fellowship and accountability that comes from a Church family. And the word of God does need to be preached, both to convict the lost, and to teach the saved. I'm only saying that if you hear the voice of God calling to you, answer it. No matter where you are.

How did Jesus call you? Was it a small, still voice? A life-changing event? How did you answer? Or is He still calling and waiting for you? If he is, answer His call before it's too late.

A little about goads...a goad is a long rod (around 8ft) with a sharpened end. It's basically a cattle prod. Here, kicking against the goads can imply two things: 1. that going against God's will is going to hurt. 2. He is warning Saul not to rebel against God.

We'll get into this a little more next post :)

*Zondervan Illustrated Bible Backgrounds Commentary
**"It is hard for you to kick against the goads." is left out of some translations.
*** Matthew Henry Commentary

Paul's Journey (Acts 7:58-8:40)

2009-06-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

The conversion and missionary work of Saul/Paul is one of the most thought provoking accounts in the Bible. The dramatic conversion of the persecutor Saul into the missionary Paul speaks to me. This is an in depth look at Paul and his ministry.

We are going to start with Acts 7:58. (I'm using the NKJV)

Acts 7:58..and they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul.

Now, I encourage you to read through Acts 7, which records the death of the first martyr for Christianity. Stephen is stoned for proclaiming the gospel. The above verse is important in our study, because it introduces a young man named Saul.

Saul was born to Jewish parents around 10 AD (this is a rough estimate) and was thought to be some where between the ages of 24-40 when introduced in Acts. (many usually settle on the age of 30). He was born in Tarsus, and was a man of some wealth. A tent maker by trade, he had an independent source of income. He had one known sister, but it was likely he had other siblings as well. He was most likely a small man, around 4.5' tall.* He had both Roman and Tarisian citizenship, and would have spoke Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek. (this would prove to be very useful in his future missionary work) He was of the tribe of Benjamin, and had strong Hebrew roots. He was well educated, and studied under the 'best' Rabbi at the time: Gamaliel. He was a Pharisee and had great zeal for the law and scripture. This zeal for the law was part of the source of his disdain for Christians, who proclaimed freedom from the law.

Going back to the above verse, we see that Saul was present at Stephen's stoning. He was on the 'front row' so to speak, indicating that he was a man of importance and had a hand in the sentence of death. If we move on to Acts 8:1 we read that he had a bigger part in it than just holding robes.

Acts 8:1 Now Saul was consenting to his death.

The word 'syneudokoun' was used here meaning he consented to it with delight.* He took pleasure in the stoning of Stephen, thinking it was justified.

Acts 8:3 As for Saul, he made havoc of the church, entering every house, and dragging off men and women, committing them to prison.

Here we see the full picture of Saul's persecution of the church. The word 'lymainomai' is used which means to destroy, as in torn apart by wolves. ** It's obvious that he took some pleasure in trying to destroy the church. But as we see, this just helped serve God's purpose in spreading the seed of the early church.

Acts 8:4 Therefore those who were scattered went everywhere preaching the word.

Although sometimes we do not see the purpose behind suffering and persecution, it always falls in to God's perfect plan. Here Saul was like the wind blowing a dandelion. His wrath against the church only caused it to spread and plant the seeds of the gospel all around the area. Persecution today still has the same effect. Although it's hard to see when people suffer, or are martyred, know that it does all serve a purpose.

This is also a radical step in the spread of Christianity. Read through Acts 8:4-40. It tells of Phillip preaching the word to a Gentile (which means non-Jew) The Good News of Jesus is beginning to be spread beyond the Jewish community. This would have added more fuel to the fire of Saul's anger because the scriptures were, to Jews at the time, for the Jewish only.

Here's a link to some maps that illustrate some of this very well:

http://www.ccel.org/bible/phillips/CN092MAPS1.htm

Please share your insights, thoughts, etc with us in the comments section!

Next post: Saul takes his persecution on the road.

* Matthew Henry Commentary
**MacArthur New Testament Commentary

Back, with a purpose

2009-06-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

I've not posted much the past few months. I've had a great deal of reflection to do. God has been on me a bit about spending more time with Him. So I have.

I am starting a project, and hopefully it will be a blessing to others. I'm doing a Bible study on Paul. His conversion and ministry speak to me like no other person in the Bible. I was a little bit of a Saul once, and if I could do just a small measure of witnessing like he did, it would be amazing.

So, I would love for you guys to join me in my study. I will TRY to post daily (someone get after me if I don't)

Having Faith

2009-03-31T17:20:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's been awhile since I posted I guess. Life, and all that you know.

I've been suffering from that uneasy, unsettled feeling a bit lately. That one where you are standing on the edge of something big, but you don't know what it is, or whether its a good thing or a bad thing. That whole "change is in the air" feeling. Perhaps it's the spiraling economy. Perhaps it's the tension of uneasy world politics. Perhaps it's knowing that your comfy earthly security isn't as secure as you'd like. Perhaps it's just spring fever. But feeling this so strong, you can practically taste it, leads you to seek the strength of God in all things.

Strength in God comes from the knowledge that ALL things are in His plan. Whether good or bad, everything that happens is part of the great tapestry of our history that He has woven. And He's given us a sneak peak at the end. (guess what.....the good guys win!) Those of us that have the security of salvation can look ahead, past the tumultuous life we live in now, and see that our eternity will be so much better than even the best of what this earthly life can offer.

So as I stand on this brink, and smell the scent of a strong storm coming, I can call upon my Lord for strength and peace.

Psalm 107:25 For he spoke and stirred up a tempest that lifted high the waves. 26 They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths; in their peril their courage melted away. 27 They reeled and staggered like drunken men; they were at their wits' end. 28 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. 29 He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. 30 They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. 31 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men.

Our broken world

2009-02-02T04:56:00.000-08:00

How often does the super bowl bring a woman to the brink of tears?

It wasn't the game. I'm very much not a football fan. It was the people. Not too long ago I would have happily sat through the game and watched all the multi-million dollar commercials. (the whole reason for sitting through the game) We tried that last night. It was depressing. Heart-wrenching.

God has been working on my old sinful heart a lot lately. I'm seeing this broken world through new eyes. I used to think that this world wasn't such a bad place. But now...wow. I see the depravity of man. I see how purposefully people as a whole turn their backs on their Creator. How they worship the here and now, rather than our one true God. How they've raised up mere humans a level they deem worthy of worship.

My day began and ended yesterday with two extremes. We visited a church yesterday morning. It was packed full of people that seemed burdened by being there on a Sunday morning. There was no joy, no happiness. No worship. Only grim faced people going through the motions.

Then picture this: There are thousands of people...standing room only. Hands raised in praise. All of them singing with emotion, all wanting a small part of the object of their devotion.

The problem is, they wanted Bruce Springsteen. They were giving Bruce Springsteen far more worship and praise than our God, our Creator gets.

How often do we find ourselves giving this world our hearts and souls. And to what end? Does ol' Bruce care about each one of us? Will Bruce gather our tired, broken bodies and make us anew? Will he wipe away our tears? Was Bruce willing to pay for our sins?

Think about what idols you worship. What are you putting before God in your heart? Maybe we should go to church and meet God with that same rockstar style worship. Isn't he much more worth it?

I know I have a prayer in my heart this morning, and every morning, to ask God to help me set aside my idols, and put Him first in my life.

Cute Website for Kids

2009-01-28T08:04:00.001-08:00

While browsing for a Bible lesson this morning, I ran across this website. The kids were cracking up reading about the Pharaoh and the Phat Cows.

http://www.essex1.com/people/paul/bible.html

Looking back, and looking forward

2009-01-26T19:24:00.000-08:00

Tonight I decided to go through the large pile of papers I had set aside to go through 'later'. That was a pile I started over a year ago, and it finally became later. It was mostly things the girls had brought home from school that I needed to weed through. I sat looking through countless numbers of paintings and drawings, boardwork, math problems, and short stories. They made me smile, and some made me giggle out loud. There was one, however, that made me catch my breath, and brought tears to my eyes. It was a project done by Sarah in September-October of 2007. I guess I had never really looked through it. In the stack was her rough draft, notes and drawings of a little book she wrote called My Family. On the first version, the rough draft copy of her little book, there was a little piece of paper stapled on the corner of the cover. It had come loose a bit, so I looked under it. It said simply "My parents are divorcing". Oh how reading that stings.

Those months of that year were some of the worst of my life. And sometimes I forget that it was the worst of their lives as well. Our lives got turned upside down and sideways that fall. It was a heart breaking few months that were like falling.

I opened the book, and what I read hurt my heart in little ways that no one outside our family would understand. There was a whole page about a boat ride with her family. She talked about how she loved that boat ride. That boat ride was the last thing we did together as a family before we fell apart.

There was another section about going to church with Dad. That one nearly broke me all over again. You see, most of the turmoil we were going through at the time was because God was chasing me, and I was running with all my might. I nearly ripped our family apart in the process. And yet, my little girl, during all this hurt, was writing about how much she loved God, and loved to go to church.

I shudder to think about what could have been. Praise God that he chased me until I could run no more. I thank Him that he literally brought me to my knees one day in an empty house, and showed me how to run TO Him, and not AWAY.

I'm so thankful that I can close that little book, and put it in a box that is inside our FAMILY home. One that isn't broken. One that is full of love for Jesus, and for each other. A home where that little girl doesn't have to worry about her parent's divorce. A home that has finally learned to put God first and foremost. A family that has been healed!

Praising Him

2009-01-25T05:32:00.000-08:00

Miranda enjoying a cup of hot chocolate

Thank you Lord, for this day. Thank you for my family, and the people you've blessed our lives with. Thank you for giving me the privilege to be a mother and a wife. Thank you for the road that You have set our feet upon, and for Your guidance along the Way. Thank you for the peace You have given me in time of great sorrow, and the strength You have given me to carry on. Thank you Lord for using our family to share the Word.

I pray for a strengthening of our faith, and a nourishing of our hearts through your Word. I pray for continued guidance as we make choices that will affect our ministry and our lives. I pray that You will help me be the support Tom needs as he pursues his calling.

Thank you for Your ultimate sacrifice, so that we might be saved. Amen.

I will miss you so much!

2008-12-10T07:12:00.000-08:00

On Thursday December 4th, the best step-dad a girl could ask for passed away. He battled cancer for over a year, and suffered from severe pain for nearly 3 years. He has finally received the peace and healing we have been praying for.

He touched the lives of so many people. He was a friend to everyone, and loved his family greatly. He was a father to 5 of us, and treated us all like his very own children, even though only my brother was "his" son.

Please keep us all in your prayers. Our family has suffered a great loss in Kevin's death, and we are looking to God for our peace and comfort. The knowledge that we will see him again, and that he is with my mother, those are our greatest comforts right now.

Proud Wife

2008-11-24T05:42:00.000-08:00

Well, he did it! He made it through his first sermon. He had a good message that talked about Abraham and Isaac, and the parallels to Christ and his crucifixion. We videoed it, but it may be a while before we share. (First we have to find a way to get it off the camera! lol)

Preacher Tom

2008-11-17T16:18:00.000-08:00

Our family is taking a big step this week. This Sunday my husband Tom will preach his first sermon. (Ok, maybe our kids don't think it's his first, since they've probably heard more than a few over the years...lol!) This is something that has been heavily prayed about in our family, ever since he felt the call. Now that the moment is near to cross the threshold, we are all just a little nervous. But I know he'll do fine, and I hope he knows that no matter how it goes, I'm proud of him.

We've come so far.

Oh, check out our homeschool blog: www.hcahomeschool.blogspot.com

2008-10-22T14:02:00.000-07:00

I know we are going to have a lot of bumps along the way, but yesterday it was obvious that homeschooling is going to be a blessing to our whole family. We just really had a great day. Here's how part of it was spent:

Changes.....

2008-10-18T11:27:00.001-07:00

It's been a month of decluttering my life, finishing things up, and starting a new journey.

I had to step back and take stock of what was important, and what wasn't in our lives. I had to drop a commitment or two, ones that were taking up more time than it was worth.

Another thing I've been busy doing is finishing up some things with my photography business. I had a large project that turned out to be a big learning experience. (I'm not sure if it'll be a project I'll take on again?)

One big change with our family is our decision to begin homeschooling the girls. We've been considering it and praying about it for around a year. We've been increasingly unhappy with what they are learning at school, and the values they were being exposed to daily. It seemed as if the younger two were in classes that were just so full of unruly kids that they were getting lost in the shuffle. The oldest, she began middle school, and the meaness and other things from the kids that go there was just more than we wanted to deal with.

So we are beginning the homeschool journey. We are really looking forward to including God in their curriculum, and letting them just be kids. No pressure to grow up too fast. No being ridiculed for being a good Christian girl. No having to wait for the rest of the class to catch up so you can learn the next thing. I pray each day that I can teach them as God intends.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7: "6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Ephesians 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

Romans 12:2 "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

An article on worry

2008-09-30T17:41:00.001-07:00

I thought this very appropriate to follow my post about worrying so much. My friend Beth Holmes wrote this article: http://www.mymissionfulfilled.com/article.asp?id=1049 Great article!

Another Wow God thing

2008-09-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

I've just had one of those faith confirming days today. One of those WOW moments.

You see I'm a worrier by nature. Things get to me. I dwell on them, and sometimes let them go from mere worry, to down right fear. One of the things I'm struggling with as a Christian, is handing it all over to God. Letting go, and letting God.

Here lately, I've been letting myself become bogged down again by worry. I worry about my family. I worry about my health. I worry about the state of our country, and the way the world seems to be spiraling out of control. I realized last night, that I'm not giving God a chance to ease my worries. I keep them all tucked away inside, like I'm hoarding them. Couldn't tell you why. They eat at you when you do that, by the way.

So last night I prayed hard about it. I asked God to please help me hand it all over to Him. And I asked for him to help me see the ways he is at work in our lives. I asked for him to ease my fears and worries.

Then, like I do every night, I began reading the Bible. I'm trying to work my way through the whole thing, and I'm currently in Psalms. But for some reason last night I flipped over to 1 John. I read it, and this jumped out at me:

"1 John 4:13We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. "

Wow. Thanks for pointing that out to me God.

I fell asleep last night without a worry.

I woke up this morning, with what I had read still on my mind. And I began thinking about all the prayers I've prayed in the past year. And when I really think about it, I'm in complete AWE over how many have been answered. Some in ways I didn't see coming, and some that I prayed, thinking it wouldn't change anything. What amazed me, was that with the exception of a few that I was asking for God to hurry up with some things (yeah, not to bright on my part, I know) nearly EVERY single prayer for my family and friends has been answered in some form or another this year. Knocks my socks off.

There is one major prayer that hasn't been visibly answered yet. But I believe it's because it's God's will for things to go as they have. My step-dad, is still fighting a hard painful battle with cancer. He's in so much pain. But all he has gone through, and continues to go through, has been for the greater work of God. So MANY lives have been touched by Kevin's illness, and his rock solid faith in God through it all. It's resulted in so much of our family putting God first in their lives. See, we were a whole bunch of lost sheep. And through Kevin's illness, God has brought us all back into his flock. The things I've seen happen this year are amazing to say the least.

I talked to Kevin and Sherri today. It was part two of my WOW day. Kevin was hurting pretty bad, and couldn't talk very long...but he had gotten good news from his scans. The tumors in his brain: two are shrinking, and one is GONE. Awesome. He's getting very worn down from the pain though, and is having a hard time coping. I let him go so he could rest. A few minutes later, Sherri called me back. She wanted to talk to me. They had a WOW moment last night too. Kevin was having a particularly hard time with the pain, and was pacing around like he often does when he's hurting. He was in the doorway of his bedroom, when the TV's signal went out. The 'searching for signal' sign came on, and then it came back. Only it was on a different channel. It was now on a Christian channel, and there was a sermon on HOPE. He and Sherri sat and watched the whole sermon. It lifted them up to fight against this another day.

Sherri thanked me today for being there with them when Kevin had his seizures and was in the hospital. And she thanked me for reminding her that no matter HOW this all turns out, Kevin will be OK in the end. We all know where he's going when this is all over, so no matter how little or how much time he has with us here...it's not the end. I think I need to remind my self of that more often too.

Thank you, God. Thank you for the insight you've given me today.

I've been tagged!

2008-09-09T04:32:00.001-07:00

Thanks Leslie for the I love your blog tag!

Here's da rules:

This is how it works:

(1) The winner can put the logo on their blog.

(2) Link the person you received your award from.

(3) Nominate at least 7 other blogs.

(4) Put links of those on yours.(

5) Leave a message on the blogs of the girls or boys you’ve nominated

My nominees are (drum roll please..........................)

Angie - my bestest bud from WAYYYYYY back http://www.gigitotherescue.blogspot.com/

April (and not just because she has an awesome name ) http://mentionthedetails.blogspot.com/

Stephanie (she just rocks) http://www.stephanieharrison.blogspot.com/

Lorien (best cake maker in town!) http://www.cakesbylori.blogspot.com/

Tom (The love of my life) http://walkinginspirit.blogspot.com/

Noel (all her blogs are cool) http://noelmignonchallenge.blogspot.com/

Patter (she combines her faith and scrapping in ways I just wish I could!) http://triplethescraps.blogspot.com/

AWANA's

2008-09-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

So we started AWANAs last night. Tom and I are helping out. Wow. That's a LOT of kids. It's amazing how loud 100+ kids can be.

To be honest, I was kind of dreading it. I'm just not fond of large groups of kids. But after helping out this first night with the 3rd-5th grade girls..it was pretty cool. They were chewing through those memory verses. And they cracked me up when we were doing relay races at the end. (girls this age are VERY concerned with what's FAIR at this age, btw)

Hmm...guess I'll go back next week. They didn't scare me off.

jibjab funny

2008-08-31T16:35:00.001-07:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Good News

2008-08-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

I just talked to Sherri, and she said that my step-dad's CT scans of his chest and body all came back good. Nothing has grown, and some of the tumors have shrunk some. This is without having had any chemo this past month or so. He doesn't get a head CT until late September though, to give the radiation time to work. Keep praying!

We are still busy busy around here. Tom's home from Thailand. Miranda quit cheer (just not her cup of tea I guess...not surprising. I was more surprised that she wanted to do it in the first place) Sarah is still cheering, but told me that she's playing softball next year! lol.

Hope everyone has a great Labor Day weekend...we are going to go visit my step-dad. The girls really need to see him.

A needed refresher

2008-08-17T12:50:00.000-07:00

I'm glad I drug myself to church this morning in spite of being sick. Ken Freeman was back again to preach...and it was great. It was a message that I think I really needed to hear about doing what God wants of you. About how most of the time what God asks of you isn't easy, and it usually makes you look weird. But that's ok. And being careful about letting the world take precidence over God in your life.

Yeah, I've been stinking in that department lately. Got some things to do and weird to be I guess.

2008-08-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

Life kicked us in the behind a little this past week. My step-dad took a turn for the worse, and ended up in Critical Care at the hospital. Turns out the cancer has spread to his brain. He's back home now, and feeling much better after being put on some various meds. The docs are optimistic that radiation can shrink the tumors. We'll find out in 3-4 weeks when he has his next scan. We are all asking for prayers for him and the family. We all love him so.

Well the kids are offically back in school. They all seem to be happy with their teachers, and Kelsie seems to be adapting to Middle School life like a fish to water. There even appears to be signs that she's decided that she IS a girl and it's OK to fix her hair before she leaves the house. :)

Sarah and Miranda are full on into cheer. They had their first game last Saturday. At noon. In 95 degree weather. Sarah nearly passed out and missed half the game. Miranda got sunburned. Sarah ironically still loves it. Miranda has decided that maybe it's not her cup of tea. She has to finish the season though. Hopefully it'll start cooling off soon, and we can remember to make sure Sarah has plenty to eat and drink before the next games..lol.

Speaking of Sarah....guess what happens when you let her play with the camera...lol. She LOVEs to take photos, and hey...she's not bad!

I did get my wedding session out of the way. Now I'm just proofing the 400+ photos from it. Kelsie was my hired help. Doesn't she look like she's working hard?

Actually, she was alot of help when I needed it. I think I see a part time job in her future.

Tom is off traveling the world again. Gone to Thailand for the 2nd time in a month. This one was VERY short notice though...in fact, we didn't know for sure he was going until we were halfway to the airport!

Busy!

2008-07-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

It has been a crazy busy month to be summer break. We've had so much going on with the kids, Tom's work, my business, and just trying to squeeze in some summer fun.

We had an awesome cookout on the 4th. We were able to have around 40 people over, and despite a brief thunderstorm had a great time.

There was WAY too much food, and lots of fireworks. I hope we can do it again next year!

We've spent a lot of time at the pool hanging out (when we aren't running around doing other things!) Seems like our little mom group has taken over the pool...we counted it up one day: Just our little group was over 20 people..lol. It's been nice though...this is a group of ladies that would do just about anything to help out a friend.

Tom spent the past two weeks in Thailand for his job. It was a LONG two weeks, and he is VERY glad to be home. (And so are we!) It was an experience he's glad to have gotten, but he's in no hurry to go back. Too far from home. He spent most of his time there working, but he did get a chance to be a tourist.

To add to all the excitement, Miranda had surgery on her wrist to remove a ganglion cyst. It was really starting to bother her, so she chose to have the surgery to get it removed. She has been a trooper through it all, and it seems to be healing nicely. (She kind of likes to show off her 'gruesome' wound too)

It looks like August and September are going to be just as crazy. School is starting soon, and my business is picking up. I have an entire Football and cheer league to photograph in September! There's also a wedding to do, and I have a booth at a scrapbook event for two days. I should be able to keep busy!

What a week!

2008-06-24T05:06:00.000-07:00

It has been such a good week! It started out on a good foot, with Sarah getting saved last Sunday. Then we had VBS all week, and although it was exhausting, it was great to be able to lead the Crafts. Then on Wednesday night, Miranda was saved. We went to church this Sunday, and Sarah and Miranda were getting baptized. Much of our family came, which was awesome...and some of them were even unexpected. Then to our surprise, Kelsie was saved that day. At the last minute, she was able to join the girls in baptism. So we had ALL THREE of the girls get baptised Sunday!

Sarah

2008-06-15T11:10:00.000-07:00

Tom got the best Father's Day gift today...our daughter Sarah was saved this morning at church! The kids had a little skit this morning to kick off VBS, and afterwards Sarah decided to stay with me for the service rather than go to children's church. After the sermon, and just as Bro. Mike started to give the invitational, she tugged on my arm. She had tears in her eyes and said "Mom, I need to go up". Lots of tears (from the both of us!) but lots of joy too. It's a good day!

The health thing...

2008-06-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

So how's it going? Eh, not too bad. I've lost approximately 7 pounds since I started First Place. Not too bad considering that during those weeks, I had the twins birthday, which meant cakes and ice cream, AND I totally went off keeping track while we were on vacation. I'm trying to keep up with it, and I think some good habits are finally starting to kick in. Lots more veggies and fruit for munching. No more seconds at the dinner table. Switching to drinking unsweetened tea when I'm out. I generally just think a lot more about what I stick in my mouth. The bible study helps too...just thinking about how God would want us to treat ourselves.

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-06-09T13:34:00.001-07:00

Here's some more pics!

Back from the beach!

2008-06-09T13:11:00.000-07:00

We are back from Florida! We had a great time camping at St. Andrews State Park in Panama. It was a little hot, but what can you expect for this time of year? The kids had so much fun at the beach, and did lots of bike riding. It was nice camping with Tom's cousin and his family. The kids all got along great. Here's a few photos from our trip...more to come.

It's so cool

2008-05-19T14:55:00.000-07:00

when you see things start to come together. I have to thank God for an opportunity that just came up. Can't talk too much about it yet, but I'm SO excited and a little scared! lol. I hope this is a door that has opened to something very good for us. We'll see what He has in store!

And pray hard for me. My oldest daughter is finishing her LAST week of elementary school this week. This fall she'll be headed to the great wide world of Middle School. I'm just not ready.

Thought for Friday, because I procrastinate

2008-05-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

Late again.

Oops...missed one completely last week.

Ok. This week....slumber parties? Have them as a kid? Let your kids have them? I ask this because trampling across the floor above my head are several giggly 8 year olds. I'm looking forward to a long night of laughing, eating, crafting, movies, and I'm sure something glittery at some point. The girls having friends over, and I love being able to let them have them over. (although it can be a lot of work sometimes)

I got to have a few sleepovers when I was a girl. We usually spent most of our time running around outside though.

So how about you?

Cleaning up the temple

2008-05-12T16:19:00.000-07:00

It's said that our bodies are a living sacrifice to God, and we should treat them as his temple. Well, I've spent a great deal of time trashing the temple, and it's high time I cleaned it up.

I started a health/weight loss Bible Studay at church called First Place. It concentrates on getting your eating and lifestyle back on track. Healthier living for God is the focus. How can we serve God fully if we've trashed our bodies? My weight and sedentary lifestyle has drained my energy, and keeps me from doing all the things I could. So I've committed to giving my health back to Him. To treat what He gave me with the respect and care it deserves.

Wow

2008-05-07T04:37:00.000-07:00

I'm doing two different Bible studies right now. One is geared towards women and is about the Psalms of Ascent. It's about learning to give your life over to God and to trust Him as your proctector and guide. The other is about learning to listen to what God wants you to do with your life to serve Him.

Both of these kind of fell into my lap at a time that we (Tom and I) are trying to hear what God has to say about where he wants us to go. It's amazing how the scripture and the studies have fallen along the exact lines of the questions we've been asking ourselves.

And Tom has been doing a great deal of listening to different seminary podcasts. Now mind you, most of these have titles that do not allude to the content. Each day as he listens, it ties in perfectly with something we've talked about the day before, concerning what we need to do. It's getting kind of freaky...but in a good way! lol.

Anyway, we keep praying that we are able to quiet down our own minds long enough to hear what God is saying. That we do the right thing, and take our lives in the right direction. I feel like we are on the edge of something...circling around it.

Whirlwind

2008-05-06T16:47:00.000-07:00

That would describe the past 5 days. A whirlwind! lol. Last Tuesday night, I realized that Saturday was the day I had to go to Space Camp with my daughter and her 5th grade class. And there was a chaperone meeting Wednesday night. Never mind that it was the SAME weekend I had planned a big cookout, had the first class for my First Steps class at church, was supposed to have small group, a VBS meeting, and finish up proofing the photo session I was procrastinating on! So I spent Thursday and Friday rushing to get things done, so I could be gone all weekend. (Including doing a photo shoot of an entire 2nd grade class, proofing and ordering...all on Thursday) And I spent a great deal of time being mad at myself for forgetting the trip.

The trip was great, but BUSY. They had every waking moment scheduled, and you were walking most of the time. We came back exhausted, and Kelsie came home sick. There was a great deal of girl drama too, and a few tears shed.

Then Monday, still recovering from the weekend, I had to place photo orders, go help Sarah's class tie die shirts, go to Kelsie's middle school Parent orientation meeting, and was supposed to have a softball game. (Sorry, but I missed that...I'd have been asleep on the field!)

Thankfully today there was nothing but soccer practice. So I did pretty much nothing today! Hopefully things will get back to a less than hectic pace.

Happy Day to Me

2008-04-30T06:55:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday..whoo hoo. I'm um...29...yeah...29. Tom and the girls took me out for dinner last night, and book shopping :) And the kids all made cards, bookmarks, and a beautiful clay ball (swirly Earth colors..hehe). Nice birthday so far!!

Ken Freeman's Sermon

2008-04-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

It's finally up online...this is the Easter Morning service I wrote about earlier. It's worth a listen!

Ken Freeman: This is a Test

Thought for Thursday - Forgiveness

2008-04-24T04:53:00.000-07:00

This weeks Thought has been on my mind a lot lately. In the past year or so, I have had to do a huge amount of forgiving and letting go. It certainly has not been easy. There are things in my past that love to haunt me, and I often have to deal with them rearing their ugly heads on a daily basis. It used to be like a big dark cloud that followed me around, sneaking up on me when I wasn't expecting it.

But I have finally learned how to forgive the unforgiveable, and to let things go. This doesn't mean I've forgotten. I could never forget. It doesn't mean I'm going to be best friends with those that hurt me. But I've handed it over. I came to realize that being angry about it, holding onto that grudge or hatred does nothing but eat me alive. Holding on will not ever change the past. Feeling that hurt every single day just poisons my soul.

Handing it all over to God has finally let me let go. Coming to the realization that he will deal with those things that happened, and that there were reasons for them TO happen allows me to forgive. And if I feel that old cloud sneaking up on me, I turn to God and ask him to ease my pain, and help me let it go. And He always does. It's such a relief to not have to carry that hate. It's heavy.

Do you have things you carry around with you that you need to let go? Do they poison your life like they did mine? Do you need forgive?

Stepping Up

2008-04-23T19:54:00.000-07:00

So I've started a new small group at church called Stepping Up by Beth Moore. Our pastor's wife is teaching it (she's a HOOT!) Anyhow, it's pretty good so far. Has me thinking a lot about relying on God. The study is based on Psalms 120-134. Today's chapter I particularly found moving:

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
"1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore."

It's a reminder that the Lord is with us no matter where we are or what we are doing. And that when you walk His path, he protects you and lends you His strength. That's something I need to be reminded of daily.

Thoughts for Thursday - Campers

2008-04-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

Thanks again to the Random Word Generator my subject today is camping.

I like to camp, we just haven't done much of it since the kids were born. The few times we have gone, they love it (all except for the bugs...they are such GIRLS when it comes to bugs!) Our last trip was to Rock Island, TN, and we tent camped. Tom froze me to death because he like to have fan blowing at 100mph when he sleeps..lol. And I had a stomach bug. So not the BEST trip ever, but we still had fun.

This past November we bought a pop-up camper from a friend. We have still not been camping in it. Tom did however rip a big ol' hole in the canvas the first time we tried to close it up. (gotta fix that!)

We have plans to go in June to Florida to camp with Tom's cousin and his family. I'm thinking we really need to give it a test run BEFORE we drive 8 hours away from home with it! I'm looking forward to camping in a relatively bug-free zone. (I sleep so much better when there is no shreiking)

So do you camp? Do you like it? Tent or camper?

Thought for Thursday - Budgets

2008-04-11T04:04:00.000-07:00

So I didn't get my Thought for Thursday done yesterday because I was working most of the day on a budget. We are trying to get some money put back into savings and pay off the house, and it's just not going to happen without one. The nerdy part of me LOVES making up a budget. I use Microsoft Money so I can also make little pie charts, and bar graphs. (I know, break out the pocket protector)

But another part of me really isn't happy about it. You know, the part that wants to go out to eat every other night, and spend $100 on scrapbook supplies. The part that REALLY REALLY wants those cute Sketchers she saw the other day. However, we have our goals, and those shoes aren't going to get us there.

We hope to someday, not too awfully far in the future, to be debt free. We are not too far off. All we have left is our house payment. And if the housing market will ever stop being a crap shoot, we plan to sell and downsize...further reducing our debt...hopefully to $0. (one can dream right?)

Well, setting up a realistic budget can really be an eye opener on how much money you spend just to live. And how much you blow. We blow too much. Yet, I still don't see how people live the way they do on less money than we have. Do people really live off of credit cards? Just to keep up appearances? Because we live pretty darn cheaply. I don't buy brand name clothes unless they are on clearance for Wal-Mart prices. We don't take expensive vacations. We don't drive fancy cars. We don't really eat out too terribly much (even though I'd like to! lol) Tom makes pretty decent money...and yet we still manage to spend most of it. How in the world can people afford to live the way they do? I guess that's why so many people are in trouble financially right now...from living above their means.

Wow...got off on a tangent there. So do you have a budget? Do you stick to it?

Lost

2008-04-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

It's come to my attention that this blog entry that I posted on my MySpace might benefit someone reading....so I'm going to post it, even though it's of a very similar thread to my post on Salvation. Hope you enjoy, and pray that it can touch someone hurting as much as I was.

This is the story of how I found my way when I didn't even know I was lost.

Early on in life, I came to a crossroads of sorts. There were a wide range of road choices to take. Some looked boring. Some were scary. Some looked interesting, but I didn't like the people on them. Some were just to crowded and full of sheep (aka people just following the crowd). So I took the little road off to the side. No one was going with me, I could just be myself and decide where I wanted to go.

I had friends that came along and said "Why don't you come walk on our road with us?" "No," I'd say. I have my own road and I'm content with it. "But do you know where it's going?" They'd say. Well, not really, but that was half the fun right? Then others came along and tried to force me on to their road. They said their road was better. That everything that was enjoyable on my road was wrong, and I should be on a road without those things. Well, that wasn't very convincing, so I just fought them off and walked even faster down my road. Sure, there were a few wrong way signs posted here and there, but how did THEY know it was the wrong way.

Along the way as I traveled I picked up souvenirs. I kept them in a pack on my back. They weren't all good souvenirs, but they reminded me of the things I'd seen and the places I'd been. Some of them I had tried to leave behind, but for some reason they kept appearing in my pack. Sometimes, as I would look through my pack, a bad souvenir would turn up. Usually, I'd just cram it to the bottom and put the good ones on top. Did I mention the bad ones were REALLY heavy?

Before long, I ran across someone I thought would be good company on my walk. I could talk to him and we'd often go to the same places. We made a pact to walk together for the rest of our lives. He'd be my walking mate. But eventually I realized that we weren't on the same road at all. His was just beside mine. Then our roads began to part. At first it was only for short times, and the two roads would meet back up. Then the parting would be longer and longer until it got to a point that we hardly knew each other when we'd meet back up. We weren't comfortable with each other any more. And his souvenirs were different. His didn't seem to be as heavy as mine. (Of course I told myself it was because he was a big strong man). Then I came to another crossroads. One road joined up with his. The other went off in another direction, one that you couldn't quite see what was around the bend. I chose to see what was around the bend and left him behind on his own road. I didn't know him anymore any way, and who knows what was ahead for me on my own road!

Now the sign folks got really crazy here because there were wrong way signs EVERYWHERE. But they seemed unimportant and not meant for me. So I began to ignore them. I should have paid attention….because the bridge was out ahead. I fell. It was a dark ravine, and I couldn't see the bottom of it. I was able to catch hold of the side, but the weight of my pack was pulling me down. I tried to pull it off, but I couldn't. Over the years, it had become stuck.

I cried out for help and a hand pulled me back over the side. I didn't see who the hand belonged to, but I could tell it was someone much more powerful than me. I turned to look at the ravine. There was a path that led down, and I could see the road went on past it. But I couldn't see what was in the bottom of the ravine, nor could I see where the road itself led. What other pitfalls were ahead? Maybe I did need a guide. I started to head back towards where I knew my walking mate had been. But I couldn't quite figure out where he'd gone. Then in the distance I saw him walking towards me.

He was still on his own road, but it was beside mine again. He then handed me a map. I looked at it and said, how do you KNOW this is the right map? Just look at it and you'll see he said. See…it shows you how to get on my road. But I thought, do I really want to be on that road? It seemed so full of people that I didn't want to walk with. I tuned around to continue on my own road. But there was a HUGE bill board in the way. It said, WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO SAY TO YOU? Then I realized that I was missing the point. It was still MY walk. It would be my road if I chose to walk it. And I had a map that showed me where this road ended up. And it also showed me that my family would be there at the end.

I went to the crossroads again. Strangely it was still a hard choice to make. But finally standing there, I could see clearly the two roads. One looked like a good road at first, but you could see it was desolate, lonely. And there were huge areas that were so dark. The other road was worn, even bumpy in places, but the sun shone on it the whole way. And there was a Great Man at a weigh station that was taking everyone's pack for them. They weren't being drug down by the weight of their souvenirs. This was not a road you walked alone. I could finally see the choice I had to make. So I asked Him to take my pack from me, and thanked him for the road. I still can't see everything that the road will lead me to, but I know where it ends, and who'll be there with me.

Thoughts for Thursday- Salvation

2008-04-03T12:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, a discussion on ScrapJazz got me thinking a lot about this today, so I'll continue it for my Thoughts for Thursday post. For me the road to Christ was a long, hard, and bumpy one. These were the steps, for me.

1. I denied everything. I spent most of my adult life against church, against religion of any kind, and sometimes even against the notion of God. I considered Christians to be weak minded and hypocritical. I thought I was married to a man that was at best neutral about the subject. I taught my girls that they shouldn't accept what church told them about God. (thankfully, that didn't take..despite my best efforts)

2. I searched endlessly for 'something' in my life to make me happy and content. I was never satisfied with what I had. I was always trying to change my life to fill a void. I was extrememly unsettled within myself, always feeling like I was on the brink of something...but never knowing what.

3. When my husband found his way back to Christ, I left him. Tradgedy in his own life woke him up. He had been saved as a child, but lost his way. He pushed aside the things he knew were right. He buried his calling. He's told me that God was pushing him to become something more...a pastor or a teacher...to minister in some way. But he knew I'd leave if he did. So he put it off, pushed it away. Until the death of his best friend shook him awake. He knew God would do whatever it took to put him right again, even if it meant taking people out of his life. And He did. I RAN out of Tom's life as fast as I could. I wanted NO part of being a Christian wife. I moved out, and divorce papers were signed and filed.

4. God beat me over the head. I know for some people the call is a little more subtle. But, I'm a stubborn girl. It took some major effort. EVERYWHERE I went Christ followed me. I would walk down the street, and random people would invite me to church. When I was frantically searching for a house to rent when I moved out...the only place I could find was rented by a very Christian man whose father was a pastor. When I looked everywhere for a job, the only job I found was at a place that God and Christ were so prevalent that there was scripture on the walls, and inspirational posters at desks, and prayer chains. I got stuff reminding me of Christ in the mail. It was all over billboards. Friends from all over were offering to pray for Tom and I. When I tried dating, I couldn't find anyone suitably Un-Christian to date. Music even haunted me.

5. When that didn't work, God brought me to my knees. My kids were with Tom. I was just doing laundry...and I carried a basket into my daughter's bedroom. Suddenly I was so overwhelmed with EVERYTHING that I literally fell to the floor. Unable to stand...uncontrollably crying. When I closed my eyes all I could see was Tom. I had the overwhelming desire to call him. And I did. I asked to come over. I didn't even know why. He took the kids to his mom's and then I went over. We cried, and fought, and it was horrible. I wanted to come back, and he wanted a Christian wife. I ran from him again...

6. Denial didn't work. I was a wreck. I drove to my niece's ball game just to not be alone..but I cried the whole time. I finally headed back to my house. As soon as I reached the crossroads to go to my house or Tom's, he called my cell and said "Come here". I did, and I stayed.

7. God still wouldn't leave me alone. I could see how Tom's life was transformed by his faith. He didn't push it, but he kept me talking about it. We had so many late night 'discussions' about the Bible. I kept trying to prove him wrong. The kids were begging me to go to church with them, so I began going. Tom handed me a book to read, Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. (which blew a bunch of my arguments against the Bible out of the water). Then, while I was at the Christian bookstore one day to buy a Bible cover for Kelsie, a book called "I Don't Have Enough Faith to be an Aethist" caught my eye. It opened my eyes.

8. Realizing how broken I was. God really got to work then. I saw with amazing clarity how horribly WRONG I was. I mean it hit me with FORCE. I saw how the world is broken by sin, and how we could never be able to sit in the presence of God by our own works. We are simply too broken and sinful...even the best of us. Then, the whole Jesus thing fit. I finally understood what it meant when the Bible says his blood paid for our sins. Through Jesus, our sins would be washed from us so that we COULD be good enough to be in the Lord's presence.

9. Not just asking, but BEGGING Jesus for forgiveness. I had never wanted something so bad, or needed it so bad. The sense of peace that washed over me as I prayed the first real prayer in my life was indescribable. I could actually feel the healing begin.

10. Trying to live my life as I should, not the way I think I want to. This is just as hard I think. Living for Christ. I know that what sins I commit are covered. But that doesn't give me the right to keep on sinning. In my love and service to the Lord, I'm obligated to live as a Christian, and to tell anyone that asks what it's all about.

Zoo trip

2008-03-31T07:13:00.000-07:00

Some pics to share from our zoo trip. We had a great time, the weather was perfect and most of the animals were out and active.

Thought for Thursday - Paperweights

2008-03-28T04:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, I was at a loss for what to write about this week, so I went to this site to get a random subject: Paperweight. (ok, my first two words that popped up were Buff and Teat...but I really couldn't think of much to write about those!)

But Paperweight...yeah, I can write about that. Because of this photo:

That would be my goof ball brother reliving our childhood. That glass paperweight is at our dad's house. It's been around for as long as either of us can remember, and we'll probably fight over the silly thing once our dad is gone. Because it's one of those rare items that is like a time machine. When you see it, and touch it, you are instantly transported back to your childhood. And for me, it has an even more rare quality...there are absolutely no bad memories associated with it.

I can remember it sitting on our coffee table where we would play with it...magnifing whatever odd object we could find. Or spinning it around while having a chat with our mom. Just the good everyday things that happened with no drama. I wish I had more memories like that. A great deal of things from my childhood don't bring the warm fuzzies. Most give me an uneasy feeling, and some I just plain ol' avoid because of bad things associated with them. But this one silly thing makes me smile EVERY time I see it.

Isn't it funny how a lump of glass can spark so much emotion and memory? Do you have objects like that?

An awesome Easter

2008-03-26T05:44:00.000-07:00

We had a great Easter this year. We were able to go over to the inlaws Saturday for an egg hunt and it was gorgeous weather! (and the kids got too much candy!) Then on Sunday our church had an unbelievable service. The did a resurrection drama that was heart wrenching. I cried through the whole thing. This is the song they based it on.

And after that we got to hear a guest speaker Ken Freeman. He did a great job, and his testimony really touched a lot of people. You can read more about him here:

http://kenfreemanministries.com/

After church we had dinner with Tom's parents, and even got a few family photos! (a rare, rare thing for us! lol)

Thought for Thursday - Gardens

2008-03-20T10:32:00.000-07:00

Do you garden?

We do. I have a little raised bed in my back yard that I grow some veggies in. Last year we had tomatoes and peppers coming out our ears! I also had zuccini. I started some cucumbers and carrots, but our big ol' dog trampled them until they gave up and died.

We don't have a dog this year, so I'm hoping for better luck. My oldest daughter and I just spent the morning tilling up the dirt, weeding, and fertilizing. We've also sown a couple of rows of lettuce and spinach...hopefully we'll get a few good salads out of it. I think this year I'm going to plant 3 different tomato plants (Mr. Stripey, pear, and beefsteak), jalepenos, bell peppers, and maybe some cucumbers. I give up on carrots. For some reason I cannot ever grow a decent one. Oh, I also usually plant marigolds along the edge of my bed. Keeps some of the critters out. I'm thinking of planting some melons along our fence too.

I don't just garden for the fun of it (although I do enjoy it). Produce is SOOO expensive, and what you buy at the store doesn't taste nearly as good as veggies fresh from the garden. The kids love seeing things grow, and they probably eat more tomatoes from our garden than they do the rest of the year combined.

So, do you garden at all? What do you grow?

I need more of these

2008-03-18T06:02:00.000-07:00

weekends. I went up to my step-dad's this weekend to surprise him for his 52nd birthday. His girlfriend (yeah that sounds weird...but my mom passed away 12 years ago...he's allowed to have a girlfriend :) ) asked me to come up Sunday for a thing they were having for him at church, but we snuck up there early. He's doing pretty good considering all he's going through with the chemo and radiation. Despite all the pain he's in, he's still cheerful and happy just to still be here. He really is an inspiration.

Sunday we all went to church with him. ALL of us. He's got five kids he calls his own: Me, my half brother (his only son by birth) and Sherri's kids (his girlfriend) He's practically raised them too. Anyway, it brought him to tears to have all of us there with him at church. Someone he works with sang some songs for him. (beautifully I might add) There were even several people from my mom's side of the family there...some I haven't seen in many years.

I used to hate going home to visit. Most of my family drives me crazy (not my step-dad, but the extended family). But this weekend was really good, and made me wish I had gone home more often over the years, and with a different attitude.

Thought for Thursday - healthy food

2008-03-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, my dh and I have finally made a commitment to get our bodies back. At least to get rid of all the extra baggage we carry (between us there's probably a person to lose..lol.)

Anyway, something that irks me, and always has, is how EXPENSIVE it is to eat healthy! I can feed all 5 of us on junk food for a week for under $100 EASY. Yet, if I would like for us to have actual real fruit and veggies each day, my grocery bills SOAR.

I went today and spent $190, just for meals for the next week. I didn't buy anything fancy. But sheesh, the produce section alone was over half that! Chicken is outragous, fish even more so. Sigh. It's no wonder Americans are so over weight. So our commitment to eat better is also including a bigger chunk of our budget.

A plain ol' every day moment

2008-03-08T15:19:00.000-08:00

Ever had one those moments that just bring tears to your eyes? I had one of those today. (actually I find myself having those moments ALOT these days)

We were out for a drive...just putzing around the countryside...no particular destination in mind. All five of us packed into the Cherokee. Tom reached over and put his hand on mine and gave it a little squeeze. It hit me then and there how GLAD I was to be there. How THANKFUL I am that this day got to happen. I mean, 6 months ago we were living in separate houses, waiting for our divorce to go through. Our lives were a mess. I never thought that we would be able to be friendly with each other again, let alone have a day like this.

Thankfully God touched both our hearts, and we have put a marriage back together and made it better than it ever was before. And I get to have a plain ol' every day moment that brings tears to my eyes.

Thoughts for Thursday - community service

2008-03-07T07:25:00.001-08:00

Yeah, my procrastination post should've been this week...but here it is, even if it IS a day late.

My thoughts lately have been alot about how I can better serve my community. This is something I haven't done very well in my life, and I'm starting to realize that I am in the perfect position to do A LOT in volunteer work. I am a WAHM with an extremely flexable job. I'm young, and healthy. My kids are at school all day. What excuse do I have? None. No real ones anyway.

So I've made a promise to myself and to God that I will try to use my time better to serve Him. I filled out an application this very morning to join the Habitat for Humanity forces. I offered to help our local kids soccer league with whatever they need. I have many other things I can do, both behind the scenes and in front. I need to give back. My life is incredibly blessed, and I need to give more.

"...from everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." Luke 12:48

Door to Door Dalmations

2008-02-29T15:06:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...

The door bell rings, my dh answers it. He comes back and says it was someone wanting donations.

Miranda runs into the kitchen: "What? Someone's giving away puppies?"

Apparently donations sounds an awful lot like dalmations to a 7 year old.

Christian Snobbery

2008-02-29T04:10:00.000-08:00

A discussion about religion on a message board I'm on brought this up. It's something I have ran into SO many times in my own life, and apparently a lot of other people have too. I'm talking about the people that wield their 'Christianity' like a weapon. You know those people that look down their nose at non-Christians and tell them that they are going straight to hell. Not in a kind, let me tell you about Jesus and the Bible and what they've done for me kind of way...but in a snide, you aren't worth my time kind of way. Or the other brand that act like you have the plague and shun you if you say you aren't religious.

I really have to question whether or not these people are really saved. The number one thing that Christians are supposed to do is to LOVE. Love your neighbor, love your enemy. Once you have really truly let Christ into your heart, you WANT to live like he told us too. Yes, sometimes you fall short, you are human after all. But I just don't see how all that snideness, and down right meaness can stay in the heart of a true Christian. It is NOT our duty to judge. We are to teach, and encourage. The best way to draw someone to Christ is not to demean them, or to treat them as if they are unworthy of your presence. It's to live your live as much in Christ as you possibly can, to show by example what a difference it has made in your life.

I know in my struggles with faith, this was one of the things that turned me from Him the most. The people in my life who acted as if they were somehow above me, better than me because of their faith. I was looked down upon, and made to feel like I wasn't good enough for them. I had people who thought that they could force their faith on me with fear tactics. I'm telling you, that does not work. It just pushes people further and further away. It leaves such a bad taste for Christianity in one's mouth. It gives a bad name to Christians. Because of the way many so called Christians behaved, I considered Christianity a character flaw. And I was not alone!

I am so thankful that although I had given up on God, he did not give up on me. I had circumstances around me that got me through that denial. God given ones I'm sure. I had a small handful of friends that showed me the true side of salvation. The peaceful, caring side.

If you are a Christian, stop and think about how you present yourself to those who aren't. Are you really living like you should? Are you loving your neighbor or judging them? Are you welcoming them into the fold, or are you standing on the other side of a fence sneering at them?

Thoughts for Thursday - Procrastination

2008-02-28T04:44:00.000-08:00

I'm jumping in on the Thoughts for Thursday bandwagon. Since I have put off a certain chore till the last minute this morning, this is what I've got. Maybe next week will be more thoughtful..lol.

Procrastination.

Yes, I AM the queen of procrastination. In fact, I’m thoroughly surprised at myself that I am not posting this at 11:59PM. I have an uncanny knack for doing things at the last possible minute. I like to tell myself that it’s just because I perform better under pressure. It has absolutely nothing to do with being lazy. Nothing. Really. I think we procrastinators just enjoy the moment. We get so wrapped up in what we are doing right now that we can’t be bothered to do things that don’t HAVE to be done until next week.

Things I’m currently procrastinating on?

1. finishing up a newsletter that is due by tomorrow night.
2. doing the laundry. (that load in the washer has a good day left before it goes bad, right?)
3. going to the post office. (there is no real deadline on this, it may never get done)
4. painting the trim in the living room (this is a doozy of a putter offer…it’s been half finished for MONTHS now)
5. paying bills…
6. gathering together my tax stuff for the CPA, which I have done NONE of, and must go see later this morning…see even this post is a form of procrastination.
7. getting tags for our camper (wow I have until MAY to get that one done!)
8. cleaning up my scrapbook area, so I can actually scrap.

Ok, I’ll stop there…I could go on for days.

Top ten reasons WHY I procrastinate:

1.

Trent, you'll be greatly missed

2008-02-26T15:29:00.000-08:00

A friend that I've known for over 8 years sadly lost her son today.

I 'met' Donna in a mom's group at Mom's Online when we were pregnant with our May 2000 babies. There was a great group of ladies that got together on that board, and the core group of us have maintained a relationship for over 8 years. The group has survived moving boards, trolls, divorces and more. It's a very supportive group of women.

We had the pleasure of several of us meeting up several years ago at a campground in Kentucky. I got to meet Donna and her son Trent there. He was such a cute, sweet little boy.

A little over 2 years ago, while they were camping, they noticed a lump in Trent's leg, and his leg was swelling. A trip to the ER started a 2 year battle with cancer. He fought hard, and though he only had a small chance of making it even 6 months, he was with his mom for 2 more years.

From all the Trent stories Donna would tell us about, he was a most loving little boy. He loved his parents, and his 4 sisters. He worried about them. He never complained during his whole long battle.

Donna was able to care for Trent during his last weeks on earth, at home. She bravely made his passing away as comfortable and non-frightening as she could. At the end, she reminded him daily of the fact that his journey would not end with death. That God would be there on the other side. That it was ok to leave all the pain and suffering behind.

The mom's on the board have been so lucky that Donna has let us into her life with Trent. She let us share with her the triumphs and the heartbreak. I feel lucky to have been able to have a peek into their hearts. I think Trent's illness and death has touched more lives than Donna will ever know. I pray that she'll be able to find peace in the days, weeks, months and years to come in knowing that.

A good day

2008-02-24T12:41:00.000-08:00

I just have to thank the Lord today. It's a good day. I feel great, my family is healthy, we are safe and happy. It was good to be at church this morning. I already see new friendships in the making that will be a part of our lives in the years to come. I've come to really enjoy going to learn more about the Bible, and be with the people there. (I never thought I'd say that about church!)

People who have known me for years would probably be surprised to hear that from me. I've always been anti-church, anti-religion. I felt they often encouraged prejudices that shouldn't be there. I'm learning that I had a bit of prejudice of my own...all churches are not hypocritical. They are not all judgemental. I have seen, in our church especially, how welcoming and helpful a good church can be. A church that is active in the community and works to include as many people as possible in following Christ. They have true outreach programs that work to not only bring people into faith, but also help in their everyday lives. This is what I wish I had seen more of as a child growing up. Maybe then, I wouldn't have been so late in accepting the truth.

Prayer

2008-02-21T16:35:00.000-08:00

Although I have carried on little 'conversations' with God in my head my entire life, I had never actually got down on my knees and prayed until recently. It's all very new to me, and felt a bit awkward at first. But I'm starting to feel more at home with actually praying. I can see the effect it has on my life and the way I go about my day. And I look forward to praying with my family each night before the girls go to bed. It's something I know has a positive effect on them as well.My husband and I have had several discussions on HOW to pray and WHAT to pray for. (We have rather different opinions on this!) I think that as long as you are opening up that dialogue, and that you aren't making selfish requests that it's all good. And most importantly, to me, you should be THANKING God for all the good in your life. And do I ever have a lot of good in my life right now. Yes, there are some bad things, like my grandmother passing away, and my step-dad having cancer, but I think they are things that just have to be, and God will make something good come from them...in fact I know he already has. I am so thankful for the gifts He has given me. I have three beautiful, healthy, smart daughters. I have a husband that loves me unconditionally. I have a supportive extended family. A safe place to live, and all our needs are met. I have God given talents that I can share with other people, and can hopefully put into His service. So I try each day to focus on the things I should be thankful for, and to simply accept the things that aren't so good.

A New Road

2008-02-19T19:11:00.000-08:00

Recently I was called to Christ. It wasn't an easy thing to let go, to surrender. I've spent my entire life searching for reasons to reject Him. I finally realized there were no reasons. Thankfully God placed people and circumstances into my life that eventually pulled me straight to where I needed to be. And I like to think that all of my struggle to get here, all of my turmoil, was according to His plan. That it has made me a person that can better serve him. I'm still but an infant in this journey. I have a great deal of learning and understanding yet to do. I'm praying daily that I can open my heart to receive the direction from God on what I am to do with my blessed life.Part of my learning process will be through journaling. With today's awesome technology, I can share my journey with so many people. Hence, this beginning of this blog. I don't expect to write anything profound. Just to share this part of my life with you.